Carried to the Table

I mentioned in my last bulletin going to Nashville to see Casting Crowns. Also performing with them were John Waller and Leeland. I have to admit that while I'd heard of Leeland, I couldn't name a single one of their songs...about all I was certain of was that I'd seen their name on the display of my XM radio and that I didn't 'dislike' the music I'd heard...because those band names DO stick in my head...lol.

Anyway, as is usually the case when I know I'd *heard* the band before but can't think of any of their songs...once they played there were ones that I recognized...and had heard enough to sing along...but one song in particular that I hadn't ever heard really captivated me. It was called 'Carried to the Table'. If you've never heard it before, you can find it on the band's myspace profile which I've linked to the blog title above.

Before playing the song, Leeland Mooring, the singer and songwriter talked a bit about his inspiration for this song. He described an instance where King David showed mercy on a man who was crippled and how he had his servants carry the man to David's table and how once at the table with his lame legs underneath the table that he looked the same as everyone else. He then went on to say how this story made him think of how God carries us, lame in our own ways, to His table. (I'm sure that Leeland put that much better than I just did, but I think you get the gist of what he was saying.)

It was a nice mental image, but I have to admit that I just couldn't place the story that he was referring to...so of course, that set me on a quest to find the story in my bible. I found it in the 9th chapter of 2nd Samuel. The lame man's name was Mephibosheth and he was the son of Saul's son, Jonathan.

2 Samuel 4:4 tells us just a bit about how he came to be lame it states:

"Saul's son Jonathan had a son who was crippled in his feet. He was five years
old when the news about Saul and Jonathan came from Jezreel. His nurse picked
him up and fled; and, in her haste to flee, it happened that he fell and became
lame. His name was Mephibosheth."

So here's the story of how Mephibosheth came to be carried to David's table from the 9th chapter of 2 Samuel:

1 David asked, "Is there still anyone left of the house of Saul to whom I may
show kindness for Jonathan's sake?" 2 Now there was a servant of the house of
Saul whose name was Ziba, and he was summoned to David. The king said to him,
"Are you Ziba?" And he said, "At your service!" 3 The king said, "Is there
anyone remaining of the house of Saul to whom I may show the kindness of God?"
Ziba said to the king, "There remains a son of Jonathan; he is crippled in his
feet." 4 The king said to him, "Where is he?" Ziba said to the king, "He is in
the house of Machir son of Ammiel, at Lo-debar." 5 Then King David sent and
brought him from the house of Machir son of Ammiel, at Lo-debar. 6 Mephibosheth
son of Jonathan son of Saul came to David, and fell on his face and did
obeisance. David said, "Mephibosheth!" He answered, "I am your servant." 7 David
said to him, "Do not be afraid, for I will show you kindness for the sake of
your father Jonathan; I will restore to you all the land of your grandfather
Saul, and you yourself shall eat at my table always." 8 He did obeisance and
said, "What is your servant, that you should look upon a dead dog such as I?"
9 Then the king summoned Saul's servant Ziba, and said to him, "All that
belonged to Saul and to all his house I have given to your master's grandson. 10
You and your sons and your servants shall till the land for him, and shall bring
in the produce, so that your master's grandson may have food to eat; but your
master's grandson Mephibosheth shall always eat at my table." Now Ziba had
fifteen sons and twenty servants. 11 Then Ziba said to the king, "According to
all that my lord the king commands his servant, so your servant will do."
Mephibosheth ate at David's table, like one of the king's sons. 12 Mephibosheth
had a young son whose name was Mica. And all who lived in Ziba's house became
Mephibosheth's servants. 13 Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, for he always ate
at the king's table. Now he was lame in both his feet.

Praise God for carrying me to his table today!

Can God use you?

I've been a little AWOL, I don't know what happened to me that I stopped posting. I guess I got so accustomed to posting on the challenge that when it ended so did my posting...lol. Perhaps it's because I don't consider myself 'creative' that I don't think I can come up with a worthwhile topic...or that even if I do, then why would my opinion on the topic matter really? I've really been struggling with that 'smallness' sort of feeling. You probably know the one, where you look around you and see other's ability to make an impact for God and you think to yourself...if only I were more like that person...or this person...maybe then God could really use me.

Well, He's certainly been attacking that way of thinking lately. It seems like everywhere I look I'm getting the same message in one form or another...that sometimes it's those very weaknesses that we most think 'If He would just remove that one thing from me...' about that God is most looking to us to use FOR Him. He can do ANYTHING...so why should we feel like He can't overcome our shortcomings if we just submit to His will? How vain of us to think that we are beyond God's capabilities? Isn't that essentially what we are saying when we say to ourselves that God can't use us because were not smart enough, too old, too young, too shy, too fat, too skinny, sick, disabled, poor, depressed, alcoholic, abused, busy, can't sing, haven't studied the bible enough...whatever our excuse is...it isn't too much for God.

Lately I've found one example after another of people that I know are doing amazing things for Christ despite some of the same excuses that I mentioned...and it's those examples that just keep reaffirming the message of 1 Corinthians 12 that God gives each of us spiritual gifts but that we do not all possess the same gifts. That doesn't mean that our gifts aren't just as 'important' or 'usable' by Him as someone else's gifts...just that ours are different from theirs...and that makes it all the more important that we allow God to use the spiritual gifts He blessed each of us with to the fullest.

So what are your spiritual gifts? If you aren't sure then there's no time like right now to start asking Him to reveal them to you...and just keep asking...when the time is right He'll show you. Still not convinced that He can use you? Let me tell you about just a couple of the examples that have come before me recently...

Both are Contemporary Christian Music artists which are successful in their careers and reach untold numbers of people with Christ's message on a daily basis through radio and live performances. Both of whom I've enjoyed their music for a number of years now, but I knew little about them personally outside of what comes out through their music...but through finding out just a little more about who they are off the radio and the things that they have faced in their lives...they have become wonderful examples to me of God's unlimited ability to use anyone that will allow Him to use them.

First off, Mark Hall, singer and songwriter of the group Casting Crowns. I've loved their music from the very first song I heard for it's sheer honesty and the obvious love of Christ that pours out of their musical worship. So when I heard that they were coming to a venue not too far from here I couldn't wait to purchase tickets and go see them in person. I bought tickets right after they went on sale (and spent more money than I had ever talked myself into spending for a concert by probably two times over, I might add) so that I could get really close/good seats...and I did...center stage on the second row. I couldn't wait for the concert and I was so excited when I arrived...but that excitement didn't even begin to compare to the way I felt by the time the show ended. Not long into the show, Mark began to share about his own struggle of feeling like God didn't need him...he talked of being dyslexic and of having ADD and how much of a struggle just getting through school was for him...and how when he first started feeling called to ministry that he felt like he couldn't possibly do it. Then he shared how in the midst of his own 'argument' with God that there had to be someone better than himself and that God needed them, that he finally could hear God's answer to that 'If only God would remove that one thing...' excuse...that he heard God saying "I don't need you, I want you". What an awesome thought! Mark has gone on from that realization that God didn't need him but wanted him to become a full time youth pastor in addition to his success in the music industry. I sat there thinking to myself...see there's someone a lot like you (after all...just in case you've never met me, because that's the only way you wouldn't already know...I'm ADD...lol)...and look at what God is doing through him!

The other example that has recently come to my attention involves singer Natalie Grant. One of her CD's is probably the first CCM purchase I ever made...I'd listened on radio and borrowed other's before...but something about her music just made me want to have a copy for myself. She has an amazing voice and seems so genuine. I'd seen her on the Dove awards and heard little sound bytes here and there of comments from her...but like Mark, knew nothing really about who she was when the microphones were gone. Well, I'm one of those people who almost ALWAYS takes a picture (or two or three...lol) with me when I go to get my hair cut, and right now I'm in one of those in-between stages as I grow my hair back out from my semi-annual cut-it-short-and-start-over and I remembered a picture I once saw of Natalie with the basic cut I was looking for on my next trip...so I started searching for images online. I kept seeing the same 5 or 6 images over and over in every search (and only one of those was actually taken when her hair was cut like I was looking for) so I thought that maybe if I searched not specifically for images but for articles or pages about her that I might find some pictures that the image searched hadn't yielded. Then I came across an interview with her in which she addressed having been in an emotionally abusive relationship and her development of an eating disorder in her attempts to 'please' her fiancee. She talked about recovering from the eating disorder and how she still struggled with those thoughts from time to time...again, I thought wow...here's someone else who's a lot like me and look what God's doing with her!

So do I believe that God can use me? Yes, I do...and I'm willing to allow it...Are you?

Challenge Update...

Ok, I got a bit behind on updating on the Encouragement Challenge...today is the last day...and I have been participating...just not writing about it. In case there is anyone else out there who stumbled upon this blog and decided to take the challenge...I'm going to post the text for days 27-30. (I'll also write about today's challenge)

Day 27:

"Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the LORD." Ps. 31:24

You have almost completed the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge." Perhaps it has taken you a tremendous amount of courage to speak words of encouragement consistently to your husband. Courage comes as we place our trust in God. Have faith that God will continue to work long after your encouraging words have been shared.

There are lots of "tough guys" in the world, but true courage comes from the Lord. Does your husband exhibit the courage to take an unpopular stand, perhaps even to stand alone against evil? Is he courageous in his faith? Does he work hard to change injustice? Is he a stickler for the truth? Does he protect you or your family from the attacks of the Enemy? Psalm 27:14 says this kind of courage comes from "waiting" on the Lord for His strength.

If your budget allows, "award" your husband with a medal, trophy, framed picture of a brave knight, or some other token that represents his courage as a man of God. Praise evidences of your husband's courage in protecting you, your marriage, your family, or your home.


Day 28:

"The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom, and before honor is humility." Proverbs 15:33

Sometimes, when we just "know" we are right and our husbands are wrong, it takes great humility to honor them. It is difficult to speak well of our husbands when our own hearts are puffed up with pride. As part of your Encouragement Challenge today, pray that you will respond to the Lord in faith and humility before you react to your husband. Speak wisely and well, and leave the results to God.

The humility that comes from a right relationship with God - the humility that comes when a man is willing to listen to God and be taught from His Word - is indeed a beautiful quality. Jesus was an example of this kind of humility when he was willing to submit to His Father's will (John 6:38; Matt. 26:39). Does your husband have that kind of humility? Is he willing to learn from and submit to direction from the Lord? Let your husband know how precious this is to your marriage relationship.

Day 29:

"A prudent man foresees evil, and hides himself; the simple pass on, and are punished." Proverbs 27:12

As you near the end of your Encouragement Challenge, take time to think about your husband's responses to the wickedness of the culture, the media, etc. Does your husband recognize and avoid evil? Does he regularly turn his back on pornography, sexual temptations, and the urge to lie and cheat? This is a valuable character trait. Like Joseph in the Old Testament, who fled from the wicked advances of Potiphar's wife, this takes an understanding that these kinds of sins are first and foremost, sins against God (Gen. 39:9).

Praise your husband when he recognizes and turns his back on wickedness. If you can think of a circumstance where your husband stood for righteousness, remind him of that today-and express your gratitude.


Day 30:

"...This is my beloved, and this is my friend..." Song of Solomon 5:16b

Friends can be completely honest with each other, but friendships are strained when truth is not spoken in love. How are you speaking to your beloved? Are you so "used" to him that you don't appreciate the wonder of his friendship? That is your challenge today. Is your sweetheart your best friend? Does he know this? Have you told him, or do you assume he "just knows"?

Friendship is something that is cultivated through the good times and the bad. Friends can share their hearts, but they don't step on each other's hearts. The way to have and be a good friend is to cultivate and celebrate the relationship. As you end this "30-Day Encouragement Challenge," celebrate your friendship with your husband.

Get alone and reflect on your beloved friend. Write him a letter, listing the qualities you admire and appreciate about him. If you are creative with words, write and frame a poem about him. Perhaps you can prepare a special meal, just for the two of you, and read the letter or poem to him. Ask if you can pray for him, and if he is willing, thank God for your love and friendship, asking for His blessing on your home.

I can honestly say that my husband really is my best friend...when I have a bad day, he's the first person I call to cheer me up or just to 'vent'...when I have a good day, he's the first person I want to call and share it with...if I have an award or achievement, he's the first person I tell. He knows me like no one else...and loves me anyway! If that isn't the definition of a best friend then I don't know what is!!! I'm incredibly blessed to be married to my best friend.

I have found this challenge to be incredibly blessing for me. I have always been one to try to show my hubby how much he means to me...but I liked the angle of having a particular topic...even though some of them were difficult for me when they dealt with complimenting his spiritual life...but even on the days that the topic wasn't about one of his strengths, then it gave me something to specifically pray over him.

Day 26

We're moving right along in the 30 day challenge only a few more days left and here's today's challenge:

"And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men." Luke 2:52

If you have faithfully encouraged your husband, you will no doubt have seen some changes in his life...and your own life, as well. Encouragement is a wonderful habit that we hope you will continue for the rest of your life. The important thing is to keep growing in Christ and obeying the Word of God as you respond to your husband.

As you consider today how to bless your husband and not tear him down, think of ways that you can encourage balance in your home. Jesus led a balanced life. He grew mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. As you see your husband branching out in these areas, is there a pattern of growth? Is your husband striving for balance in his life? If so, let him know you have noticed, and ask how you can further encourage that balance.

If your husband is out of balance - focusing on one area to the exclusion of the others - consider whether there are things you can do to help restore or create balance in his life. Can you encourage times for sports or exercise? Keep the children quiet for a study time? Invite friends over for dinner? Stimulate his mind? Be sure you are working toward balance in your own life, as well. Be an example!

I must admit that neither of us is particularly good at the balance thing. I tend to get over involved in work or other activities sometimes...I get so busy 'doing' that I don't take time to relax. My hubby on the other hand will sometimes get so wrapped up in watching sports or something similar that he doesn't 'get out' much. I think we could each take a few cues from the other and we'd both be more balanced. I have been trying to take time out for relaxing at home a little more lately...I've actually learned to say no to people trying to convince me to add something to my schedule when I really shouldn't add anything else...so I'm making progress...but I still could use a bit more balance in my life.

Day 25

Wow, I can hardly believe that there are only 5 more days left in the challenge...here's today's text:

"...seek peace, and pursue it." Ps. 34:14b "

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." Is. 26:3

Before you consider whether these verses describe your husband, consider your own presence in the home. Do you promote an atmosphere of peace, or do critical words often flow from your mouth? Do you struggle with anger? If so, before you continue with your Encouragement Challenge, confess these sinful habits to the Lord, and determine to speak words of peace to your family today.

Does your husband bring an atmosphere of peace into your home? Is his presence a calming influence? Does he bring music, entertainment, books or people into your home that build a sense of serenity? Let him know how much you appreciate this wonderful quality, and support his choices. If, on the other hand, he is quickly angered or he creates chaos rather than calm, ask God to give you an abundance of the kind of peace that will speak to his heart. Be patient and loving. Create an inviting atmosphere of peace, as much as possible.


Our home is actually a very peaceful place. I just love coming home from all the chaos of my work to a place where things are usually calm and laid back.

Day 24

Today is day 24 and the encouragement text says this:

"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." Eph. 6:4

Children can be quite a challenge to the marriage relationship. A wise wife will support her husband's leadership in the home as much as possible, and will praise him for his fathering skills. Negativity makes a man feel like a failure, and may make him to want to give up.

Does your husband discipline your children wisely? Does he show them love and encourage them? Does he take an interest in their activities and dreams? Does he spend time with them? Does he take part in developing their character? Praise him for these important life skills. If you don't have children - is your husband positive and encouraging around other people's children? Let him know that you have noticed.

If your husband does not experience positive relationships with children, you will need to figure out why. Perhaps he had negative experiences as a child with his own parents, and needs to learn how to respond. Perhaps you can lovingly and patiently show him how to parent - while still maintaining his authority in the home.


My husband and I have no children together but he's been a very caring and loving father to my children from my 1st marriage. When we married I had a 13 y/o girl and 6 y/o boy...if that isn't 'baptism by fire' into the world of parenting I don't know what is! He handled it very well...sometimes perhaps struggling with his expectations but then again don't we all? We have dreams for our children...that's a double edged sword...it's what caring parents do...wish for the best for their children and try to raise them to be responsible, good people...but sometimes in our own dreams for our children we aren't always able to allow them to make their own mistakes...we want to protect them.

Day 23

Continuing on with the challenge...only one week to go (At least technically...as far as I'm concerned this is a life-long 'challenge' that should continue long after the specific directions of the text of the challenge end). Here's what it says about day 23:

"Let your speech always be with grace..." Col. 4:6a

You're moving toward the home stretch of your 30-day challenge! Just a reminder of what you've committed:
*You can't say anything negative about your husband... to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband.
*Each day, say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband!

"In all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works..." Titus 2:7a

Does the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge" seem like hard work? Or is it becoming a pleasant exercise in genuine Christ-likeness in your home? You are only scratching the surface of ways to encourage your mate. Is your husband organized? Is he diligent? Is he persistent? These are all related to a pattern of personal disciplines that are worthy of your praise. Affirm him for one or more of these traits that you see in him. Some men have not developed these qualities because they are naturally more spontaneous. You can praise his spontaneity! Perhaps God has called you alongside to help him with disciplines he has not yet developed - but this does not include nagging. You can keep him organized. Whatever the need, you can be your husband's cheerleader, encouraging him when he wants to give up.

I am truly enjoying this 'challenge'. I really am married to an amazing man and I love the daily reminders to appreciate that fact! The role of being my husband's cheerleader is one that I feel fortunate to have as an opportunity.

Day 22

Well, I'm finally caught up to the current day's text which says:

"Let your speech always be with grace..." Colossians 4:6a

Focus today on how you represent your husband in your home, your church, and your community. In this challenge to encourage, ask: "If all my family and friends knew about my husband came from a filter of what I've said about him, what would they think of my husband?" Do you need to change the filter? Do you talk positively about your husband to others... or do you complain and criticize?

Your speech should reflect 1 Cor. 13 love. Your words should be kind, and should never "rejoice in iniquity" (v. 6). Refrain from listing your husband's faults to others. Satan likes to trick us in this area - be wary of sharing barbed "prayer requests." Remember, "Love will cover a multitude of sins" (1 Pet. 4:8b).

Present your husband before others today in a strong, positive manner. Slip in a "good word" for your spouse. Resist the urge to correct or belittle him in front of others. Some of what you say may come back to him - and you want your words to be sweet, building him up and never tearing him down. Don't forget: you are always criticizing - or encouraging - before an audience. God hears your conversations when you are alone with your husband in your own home. May your speech be always seasoned with grace.

Today's challenge is one that requires very little effort on my part. Talking good about my husband comes naturally because I feel so lucky to be married to him. He's wonderful...and I'm proud to tell the the whole world just how amazing.

Catch up continued...

Day 21's text said:

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:33

If we are living in light of eternity, everything we think, do or say is seen from an eternal perspective. We will someday give an account for our failure to speak words of love and encouragement. Determine today that your words will be sweet and helpful. Does your husband have an eternal perspective that allows him to reject materialism and temporal values? Express your gratefulness for his value system, and praise him for putting eternal things before riches and other things of this world.

If this is a problem area for him, consider how you might alter your own value system and live for eternity in front of him, encouraging him to do the same. Only two things will go into eternity...the Word of God and people. Be sure that you are focusing on the right things.

The peace that I find through my relationship with God, reminds me daily that there is nothing this earth can offer me which can compare to what He has planned for me in eternity. That relationship is an area that I've been focusing myself on a lot lately...and if that focus positively impacts my hubby as well then all the better.

Ok, so I'm behind

I'm a little behind on posting on the encouragement challenge. It's not that I haven't been doing it...just that I haven't been posting to my blog. Computers were down at work on Wednesday and Thursday...which put me behind and meant that what time I did spend on the computer since then has mainly been spent playing catch up. Now that the work is up to date, I thought I should try to bring the blog up to date as well.

Thursday was day 20 and the text said:

"And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

It's time for some heart examination. As you continue in this 30-day challenge, have you found any roots of bitterness that are contaminating your relationship with your husband? Do you understand that as long as you are unwilling to forgive your husband - by God's grace and in His power - you will not be able to encourage him? Your own resentment will keep getting in the way. Now is the time to deal with any unforgiving attitudes. Forgive him, even as God has forgiven you.

Is your husband a forgiving man? Does he keep short accounts of your problems? Express your thankfulness for such a man. Does your husband - rightly or wrongly - harbor grudges against you? Again, are there things you need to change, or do you need to ask for his forgiveness for an offense? Help your husband be more forgiving by quickly forgiving him for his mistakes.


I can honestly say that I hold no resentments in my heart of any kind toward my husband. I couldn't always say that...not because he actually gave me any reason to...just that I didn't always have realistic expectations of marriage. I made the mistake that, I believe, many wives make early in their marriages...expecting that their beloved is not only willing but actually able to completely fulfill them. This puts the husband in the impossible position of being expected to do God's job. No human can do that...and for that reason, such expectations set us up to be disappointed unreasonably. Thankfully, I have recognized these unreasonable expectations on my part and made an ongoing conscious effort to avoid them and to place my expectations for mental, emotional and spiritual fulfillment where they belonged in the first place...in the capable hands of my creator.

As for my husband's ability to forgive...I have seen him harbor resentments in the past about various things unrelated to me and/or our relationship...but I can truthfully say that whenever I sincerely have asked for his forgiveness I believe that it has been granted to me. I feel incredibly fortunate that he is understanding and accepting of my humanness.

Day 19

Today's text says:

"My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand. His head is purest gold; his hair is wavy and black as a raven. His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels. His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh. His arms are rods of gold set with chrysolite. His body is like polished ivory decorated with sapphires. His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars. His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. " Song of Solomon 5:10-16

Criticism leaves scars; but encouragement can bring healing. Remember that today as you focus on your "30-Day Encouragement Challenge." Almost nothing is as devastating to a man as the belief that his wife finds him repulsive. Sadly, many women unwisely criticize their husbands' bodies. Have you ever considered how wonderfully God designed men and women? No matter how a man looks - by the standards of the world - a loving God designed them all, and they are all "beautiful" in His sight. Encourage your husband today by praising his uniqueness.

As you look over your husband's body, from the tip of his toes to his bald or bushy head, thank God that your husband is "wonderfully made," then admire your husband verbally. (Strong arms? Hairy chest? Firm hands? Big feet? Rugged chin? Wide shoulders? Compassionate eyes? Broad smile?)


This is an easy area for me to have a positive attitude about because my hubby is a very attractive guy...and I do let him know that I think so pretty regularly.

Day 18

Today's text says:

"You will show me the path of life. In your presence is fullness of joy...Happy are the people whose God is the LORD!" Ps. 16:11a; 144:15b "
A merry heart does good like medicine..." Prov. 17:22a

It's hard to criticize others when we are enjoying their company. Instead of speaking negatively to your husband today, enjoy him! Encourage him! As you experience fullness of joy with God, share some of that joy with your husband. Does your husband have a playful side? A great sense of humor? Is there a "little boy" that wants to escape from time to time, reflecting the joy in his heart? This is a wonderful part of who he is, and a great strength. Let him know that you appreciate his joyfulness and his playful spirit. Find opportunities to join him in positive play times. If your husband can sometimes be overly serious, coax him out occasionally for some play times. It will help him relieve stress and relax.


My hubby and I have lots of fun together. True that we spend the majority of our time just hanging out at home...but we laugh a lot...and when we do get out...it's usually for something fun. We enjoy travelling together and are never at a loss for something to laugh about when we do.

Day 17

Happy St. Paddy's Day everyone...here's today's challenge:

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." Prov. 9:10

Are you a wise woman? Do you open your mouth with wisdom, as Proverbs 31:26 suggests? As you continue in your 30-day challenge, remember that a wise woman encourages her husband.

Is your husband a "wise man?" Does he have a godly perspective that comes from knowing God and walking with Him in obedience? Does he have a sense of purpose for his life and vision for your home? Tell him how much this means to you. If you are not sure about your husband's vision for your home, ask him, "Honey, what do you want to accomplish with our marriage and home in the years to come?" and "How can I help you accomplish that?" If he does not have a vision, your questions may inspire him to develop one.

If your husband is not walking with God - or perhaps, does not know the Lord - you have the opportunity and responsibility to practice your faith and create a thirst for God. Thank God for giving your husband a place in his heart that only He can fill, and keep praying that he will turn to the Lord to fill that vacuum!

Praying that I can become more like the woman of Proverbs has been an ongoing prayer of mine...not only in the area of wisdom, but all the way around. I continue to ask God to give me a heart that longs to follow Him and that He give that to my husband as well.

Day 16

Just past the halfway point of the challenge and I'm thankful that I took it on. Here's today's challenge:

"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." Genesis 2:18

God says that it is not good for man to be alone. But the way some women criticize their mates, the husbands may long for solitude. Be careful today not to criticize your mate, but look for ways to encourage him personally and publicly. Speaking of communication, does your husband communicate with you? God has made you a companion and helper for your husband, and part of being "one flesh" with him is the privilege of sharing and discussing personal needs and concerns. Thank God for that wonderful gift. Thank your husband for communicating with you.

If your spouse does not communicate as you wish, look for ways that he communicates that are normal for him - smiling at you, nodding his head, even a pleasant "grunt!" - and then thank him for letting you know that he cares. Perhaps he needs to be lovingly taught how to communicate. Be patient with him...and listen when he does speak.

Being totally honest, I have to say that my husband is much better at communication than I am really. I've been working on it...and I'm getting better but I still have to give my husband the credit for being better at it than I am. I feel very lucky to have such a wonderful spouse!

Day 15

Today's challenge speaks to a topic that has been a subject of many of my prayers. Here's what it says:

"But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..." 2 Peter 3:18a

Sometimes we live so close to our spouse that we fail to see him as others do; we only see our husband's faults. But take a step back. Perhaps he is growing spiritually in ways you have failed to appreciate. How can you encourage his growth in a fresh, new way? Remember - your husband is accountable to God for his spiritual development. You are accountable to God to encourage and not hinder that growth.

Can you identify an area of spiritual strength in your husband? Does he pray or read his Bible regularly? Does he like to read about or discuss spiritual matters? Does he go to church with you? Is he a spiritual leader? What do others say about him? If you can identify a specific area, praise him for that. If not, pray earnestly that God will work in his heart, and watch for signs of spiritual growth in the future.

I know that my husband has faith...I've never doubted that...I continue to pray that he will find peace in a personal relationship with God.

Day 14

Today's challenge is this:

"The righteous man walks in his integrity..." Prov. 20:7a

Every week there are news reports about men who gave in to temptations and compromised what they said they believed. We hear countless reports about dishonest business dealings, hidden infidelity, and hypocritical leaders. It's so easy to focus on these things and ignore those who are being honest, faithful and genuine.

As you continue in the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge," determine to look for ways that your husband stands against the culture. Is your spouse a man of integrity? Is he fair in his dealings with people? Does he understand the meaning of justice? Is he honest in business? Unhypocritical in his faith? Consider all the ways a man can live in integrity, and praise your husband for one of them. As you have the opportunity - as it is appropriate - share examples of your husband's honesty and integrity with others.


My hubby is a strong believer in keeping his word to others...which is something that you don't always see in today's world. It is certainly one of the things that I admire in his character.

Day 13

Today will be a short blog...commentary wise...because you can file the comments under...'nobody's business' ;) Here's the text for Day 13:

"I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me." Song of Solomon 7:10

The sexual relationship. It's one of those elements - along with money and children - that can derail a marriage through negative comments. Negativity destroys intimacy, but encouragement builds and strengthens the marriage bond. Let's get practical here. Is your husband a "good lover?" Have you told him so? Be specific. Let him know when he pleases you. Most husbands genuinely want to please their wives, especially in this important area of marriage.

In moments of intimacy, do you find your mind wandering? This can change as you focus on something wonderful about your husband. Realize that your husband wants intimacy with you...his desire is toward you. Does this area of your marriage need some work? Remember that this is a sensitive area for men. Be sure to encourage his lovemaking and masculinity in positive ways.

About all I'm really going to say about today's challenge is that I don't leave any doubts in my hubby's mind that I enjoy his abilities in this area :)

Day 12

Creeping closer to the halfway point of the challenge. Today's topic speaks to me in a good way. I freely admit this was a point of weakness for me in the past...I often expected my husband to fulfill needs that I should have been turning to God for fulfillment. I became aware of that and have begun making it a regular thing to examine my expectations and the areas in which I'm in the wrong. I've found that it can be difficult to change old patterns...but it's worth the effort.

"With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love." Eph. 4:2

Part of the difficulty you may face as you continue in this 30-day challenge to encourage your husband is that you really are struggling to find positive things to praise. Perhaps the problem is not with your husband. Have you checked your own heart? Sometimes we get disillusioned because of our own unreasonable or unrealistic expectations (Prov. 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.).

It may not be that our mates are doing something wrong; it's simply that we expect too much in some areas. Our expectations must be met in God alone, and then we will have the right perspective to ask God for the healing and grace we need to respond to others. How sad that we give more grace to others than to those in our own homes. Today, try to look at your husband through eyes of grace. Verbally thank your husband for what he is already doing.

My husband is simply wonderful...and I enjoy my life with him. It's so much easier to do that when you aren't placing unrealistic expectations on someone...and just enjoying the blessing they are to you! As for actions...I've been pretty good lately about telling him that I appreciate him...and also trying to SHOW him, because after all actions speak louder than words! I'll have to come up with something today though...not going to get to spend much time with him today because of a class tonight...and I want to make sure I let him know how special I think he is today!

Wondering where you can get some great Christian apparel?

Day 11

Today's part of the challenge is a subject that is often hotly debated...but I believe that most people who 'oppose' the concept aren't understanding it from the proper perspective. Here's the text for today:

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." Ephesians 5:22

Women who are constantly negative toward their husbands - especially by speaking evil of them to others - show great disrespect. Determine not to do that today (or ever!). This challenge to encourage is closely connected to submission. Men respond to women who respect them. What do you respect about your husband? Part of that respect includes submission to his authority. Let your husband know how respecting him makes it easier to submit to his leadership. Show your respect in public by listening to him and smiling at him when he speaks. Place your hand in his as you walk together.

If you feel there is nothing to respect, search harder ...nearly every man has some core characteristic that can be nurtured and respected. In any case, you must still cultivate a submissive spirit to his position of leadership..."as to the Lord."

This is an area that I have only recently begun to understand and make a conscious effort to understand. So often people use the instruction for a wife to be submissive to their husband to excuse a domineering and controlling attitude. What such people leave out of the equation is the balancing instruction that the husband is to love his wife. If you love someone you don't WANT to control it. A part of honoring your husband is allowing him his place as the head of the home...and this is an honor that I want to give my husband.

Day 10

Well I'm a third of the way through the challenge...and I feel incredibly blessed to have been a part of it. I love showing my appreciation to my husband (and like the inspiration for new ways to do it!). Here's the text for day ten:

"Behold you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant!..." Song of Solomon 1:16a

We all crave appreciation. We want to know that we are valued and loved. Early love letters probably reflected our admiration, but if we're not careful, our spouse will forget why we were drawn to him. If you still have any of your old love letters, re-read them for clues to deepen your current level of appreciation for your spouse. When we spend time criticizing our husbands, we lose time that could be spent admiring them. As you consider various ways to encourage your husband, ask, "How can I admire him?"

Does your husband know that you think he is attractive? What was one of the characteristics in your husband that first drew you to him? Was it a physical characteristic, or something else? Was it his gentle, compassionate eyes? Kindness or concern for others? An easy-going confidence? A steadiness that comes from trusting in the Lord? Strength of character in a culture that lacks integrity? Do you see at least a glimpse of that characteristic in him today? Whatever it is, tell him!

There are so many things about my husband that attracted me to him (and still do). I could make a list that goes on and on...but I don't have all day to type this and it would get so long no one would ever have time to read it...so I'll just focus on one for now.

Certainly one of them is that he's a true gentleman in a world with very few left. He's so kind, considerate and polite in dealing with other people...and I admire that. I recall one of our early weekend trips away when we had boarded our flight, settled into our seats, buckled up and he'd begun flipping through the 'Sky Mall' catalog from the plane when a young woman in the aisle was struggling to get her bag into the overhead compartment. The man standing behind her looking irritated by her delaying him offered nothing other than a scowl but my hubby quickly put down the catalog, unbuckled his seat belt and got up to help her get the bag stowed away before sitting back down and going back to the catalog. He thought absolutely nothing of that...it was just a natural reaction to him...to me, it was a sign that I'd found one of the few 'real men' left out there in today's world. He does so many of those 'little things' all the time, and I like that he sets that example for my son.

Day 9

For day nine, the challenge says:

"...be swift to hear, slow to speak..." James 1:19b

We are often so busy speaking that we don't take time to listen. We are so quick to offer a comment - negative or positive - that we don't really "hear" our husband's heart. Remember: we have two ears and only one mouth. We need to listen more! As you continue in your 30-day challenge, not speaking negatively and focusing on positive encouragement, hear the Lord's admonition today: "Be swift to hear."

If listening is a real problem for you, play a game with yourself. See if you can listen to your husband for one whole day, only speaking when asked a question. If your husband notices the difference, explain that you are learning to listen more-not only to God, but also to him.

One easy way to express admiration for your husband is to ask a question about something he enjoys, and then listen to his response. If it's an area of personal familiarity, keep asking questions until you learn something you didn't know, then tell him, "Wow, I didn't know that!"

In all honesty, I do have to say that I'm a talker...always have been...I'm a 'people person'. My mother used to say I'd talk to a brick wall if I thought I could get it to talk back...and she was probably right...If I got in trouble at school...it was for talking...always! That being said though, I'm also very good at listening...as a matter of fact, I crave that give and take conversation. My only problem listening to my husband is that he rarely talks!!! I try all the 'open ended question' angles and try to ask questions about him or things he's interested in...but I get concise answers that rarely open up conversation opportunities. As someone trained as a social worker and working in a business that depends on 'building relationships' with customers...I have spent a great deal of time learning the art of opening people up and listening to their answers...but he's just a quiet and introspective kind of guy. Not saying there is anything wrong with that...but it makes this days challenge a little harder to feel like I've been truly successful.

Day 8

Moving into the 2nd week of the Husband Encouragement challenge...and I am finding that much more than a challenge it is a blessing. Often daily life seems to take so much of our time and attention that we stop focusing on the things that are really most important to us...we allow our lives and minds to become so cluttered that it crowds out what we should be giving the most attention. The blessing of this challenge is that participating in it requires you to spend time daily focusing your thoughts, prayers and actions on your husband...which, in turn, actually increases your feelings of love, appreciation and closeness with him.

The reality of life is that there's no such thing as a 'perfect marriage' and often we fail to see the forest for the trees. Negativity invades our thoughts and it becomes far too easy to focus on the ways in which our spouse does not meet our needs rather than appreciate and thank them for the ways in which they do. Despite the wonderful things (all of which are true) that I have said about my husband throughout this blog...I am no exception to that human tendency. Far more times than I would really like to have to admit, I have been guilty of failing to see the forest for the trees. Everytime one spouse does this, it takes something from the relationship that God intended. So I find it a blessing that this challenge keeps me out of that negative mindset and focused on just how fortunate I really am!

Here's what the challenge says for today:

How are you doing with the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge"? In case you've forgotten, here's the challenge:
* You can't say anything negative about your husband ...to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband.
* Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband!

"...but who can find a faithful man?" Prov. 20:6b

Faithfulness is a wonderful but rare quality today, especially in regard to marriage. Do you understand how important this quality is? Your challenge is to continue to root out all negative speaking, and plant seeds of encouragement instead. You may be amazed at what will grow. Contemporary culture often entices men to be unfaithful to their wedding vows and spiritual commitments.

Appreciate your husband's faithfulness - how he is loyal to you. Let him know that you are glad he has "stick-to-it-iveness" in your marriage. Appreciate his faithfulness to God. (If you have an unfaithful husband, this is a difficult area for you. Pray, speak the truth in love, remain faithful yourself, and discover ways to encourage faithfulness in your mate. The Bible says that husbands may "...be won by the conduct of their wives" [1 Pet. 3:1]. You may also want to seek counsel from a mature, godly individual or couple.)

I believe that my hubby is loyal and faithful by nature. He is that way as a husband. He is that way as a friend. He is that way as a son. He believes in keeping his word in every way that he can and I know that I can trust in him. I wasn't always capable of trusting other people, even if they were trustworthy...and it has made a huge difference in my life to have such a person in my life. I really am incredibly blessed to be his wife!!!!

Day 7

Well, one week down on the challenge...and so far so good. I've been positive with my husband (and about my husband to others). I don't know if he's noticed any difference or not...in some ways I hope that he hasn't noticed much of a difference from this week over recent weeks because if he hasn't then that means I wasn't doing too bad with being encouraging before the challenge...but at the same time I'd love to think that I've made him feel even more important and special to me this week. Here's today's text:

"Do not overwork to be rich; because of your own understanding, cease!...for riches certainly make themselves wings..." Prov. 23:4-5 "

That I may cause those who love me to inherit wealth, that I may fill their treasuries." Proverbs 8:21 Money is the root of much marital discord. Ask yourself, "Am I being negative toward my husband in the area of finances?" Determine not to speak evil of your husband in this area. Discover ways to encourage and help him instead.

Does your husband handle finances wisely? Does he make good financial investments, based on biblical principles? Does he have a budget? Does he make wise decisions about purchases - checking many sources before he buys? Is he a good steward of his money before the Lord? Let him know how much you appreciate his strengths in financial matters.

If he is weak in this area, encourage any good decisions that he does make. Perhaps you can help him, if he's open to the idea, by organizing financial files or providing other practical assistance. Or, if he wants you to handle the finances, ask for his input before you make decisions that will affect him.

Today's challenge is particularly convicting for me...because I know that I haven't always been very encouraging of my husband in this area. My husband and I have differing money management styles and far too often in the past I've been critical of his handling of finances. I will say that thankfully, I did not just realize this fact but have been aware of it for a while and have been making an effort to improve my reactions.

We have separate accounts and have a reasonable division of financial responsibilities. That is how we handled finances when we first married for quite a while and then tried to put everything together but it was a frequent source of tension and disagreement regardless of who 'handled' the money. We eventually redivided things again though either of us will help the other if there is a need.

I admit that at first if my husband asked me if I could give him money on my week to get paid and he would give it to me the following week when he got paid that I would ask a lot of questions instead of just trusting in my husband as I should have...I have made a conscious effort to improve in this area and think I've made significant progress. The last several times he's asked I have simply said yes and done as he asked...and he has done as he said so I was certainly right in just trusting in him. We haven't always had things easy financially but we've always had everything we needed and I need to remember to give my husband the proper credit for that and not dwell on the details.

Day 6

Here's the text for day six:

"...whatever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Cor. 10:31b

Do you recognize and appreciate your husband's creativity? Or do you criticize and demean his efforts? Instead of negativity, determine to be positive. Perhaps you can help your husband see that his efforts are an opportunity to glorify God. Is your husband the "creative" type? Does he have any artistic gifts? What is that special "knack" he has? Affirm him for his handiwork - a hobby, music, gardening, tinkering with cars, working with wood, etc. Remember: Even if he doesn't measure up to your standards, praise his efforts.

If your budget allows, buy him a book or magazine that will continue to encourage his special skill or talent. If you have a hard time finding his "creative side," understand that men's creativity sometimes is related to their work. Find something he does to make his job run more smoothly or something he does that adds value to his work...and let him know that you have noticed. Make his day...Praise his accomplishments in public, while he is listening.

I would certainly have to say that my husbands 'knack', as it were, is in dealing with electronic things...computers, gadgets, etc. He works with computers for a living and it's the closest to a 'hobby' he has outside of watching sports (which I'm sure he wishes there was a way to make a live doing...lol). He is very talented in understanding the workings of all things electronic and usually has almost every new 'toy' that comes out. To be quite honest our tv set up is so technological that I'm not certain I could tell you how to turn it on!!! It impresses me that he can figure some of that stuff out. I know my way around a computer pretty well and sometimes even answer his questions when it comes to the use of particular applications but his ability to set things up and get them to work together just amazes me!

I'm really not sure what I could do 'action-wise' for today's challenge...I compliment his ability in this area quite freely already both to him and to others. The suggestion about getting him a book or a magazine wouldn't really be good for him because my hubby really isn't much of a reader...pretty much all of his reading is done on the computer. Maybe if I could find some sites with good information about upcoming technology information or something like that I could share those with him...but I'd be surprised if I was able to find one that he doesn't know about already. Maybe I'll just do some research tonight and share what I do find...even if he doesn't find one new site in the links I send him he'd still know I was thinking about him and what he likes and that I took the time to try to find them.

Day 5

Here's what the challenge says about day 5:

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph. 4:29

Another way to describe the positive side of this "30-Day Encouragement Challenge" is by using the word "edify," which means, "to build up." Negative comments only discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build. Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes?

This is especially important to other family members. Do you praise your husband to his relatives, and yours? Does your husband's mother know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you respect your husband, love him, and support him - in spite of whatever flaws and weaknesses he may have.

As for today, my hubby and his father work for the same company and have offices across the hall from one another. I decided a nice way to send a message of love to husband AND about my husband to my FIL was a surprise visit to bring my hubby a cappuchino. So when it was time for me to run to the office supply store and the bank for my office, I told my boss I was going to take an extra 30 minutes to run a personal errand (given that I haven't taken lunch for the last 3 days in a row because we've been so busy I knew she'd be fine with that). So I stopped at a little coffee shop right between my office and my hubby's (we work really close to each other) and picked up his treat then took it to his office. When I got there I was really glad I did because he was having trouble with some new process they have and was kind of frustrated...so the surprise came at a really good time. I also chatted with my FIL for a little while and asked about my MIL (who hasn't been feeling well)

Day 4

Here's what the challenge says about today:

"...let him labor, working with his hands what is good..." Eph. 4:28

We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative and positive words. Have you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others about him? Here's a suggestion that touches the core of your husband's world. Some women take their husband's career for granted, and they show it in many ways. Do you "dump" on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others.

If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you'll need to be more creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part of a successful career - such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc.

I admire my husbands ability at work. He is able to quickly and easily complete his tasks...so much so that he is able to complete his work with time to spare and thankfully has flexibility in his schedule that allows him to spend that extra time at home. I have to admit that I envy that at times...but it doesn't mean that I'm not thrilled that he is able to do that...it enables him to often do things that my schedule won't allow...he's home when my son gets home from school usually and our dogs never have to stay inside without getting to go outside all day long. It really is a blessing to our family.

As I was thinking about today's topic, I realized that sometimes even though it was never my intent...that through my good natured teasing about his schedule freedom I may have sent the message that I didn't value his work or think that he worked hard. So I've decided to not do that anymore...and try to send more positive messages about his work.

Day 3

Here's what the challenge says for today:

"...love suffers long, and is kind..." 1 Cor. 13:4 "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19

Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider your Encouragement Challenge, determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband. Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement. If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank him for his kindness and consideration. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to be both tough and tender. Sometimes it's difficult for a man to be gentle, kind or tender - especially if he hasn't had role models in these areas.

If he's not a considerate person, appeal to him for help without complaining. Let him know that it's hard for you to handle some things alone. Then, when he moves in to help, don't insist that he do it your way. Be glad that he is responding, and express your gratitude.

Ultimately, you can't expect your husband to make you feel more secure, loved, etc. Remember that only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart.

I am extremely blessed to have a very kind and considerate hubby. As I mentioned yesterday, he does lots of 'little things' for me all the time. One of the things that I think so beautifully demonstrates his attitude of consideration is in going out to eat...I am a vegetarian and he most definitely is not...but whenever we go out to eat he is always concerned with making sure that they have options for me. Here in the south, many restaurants do not cater to veggies like me...but I can almost always find SOMETHING even if it's special ordered or just a salad (and I love salads by the way, so I don't consider myself 'deprived' if that is the only menu option I see) but my husband is very careful to make sure that they offer at least 2 things so that I have a choice on the menu and not just that there is something I can eat.

Also when we travel he always has my wants, likes and needs in mind. Not only will he regularly research menus on the Internet in the area to see what places offer the most choices for me and make reservations at those places ahead of time...but he'll also often look into things that might interest me, more than once he has booked me for a day at the hotel spa...especially if he has plans for that day himself that he thinks I'll find boring (or if he has no plans for that day and is just going to be hanging out in the room...which he knows makes me a little stir crazy after 3 or 4 hours) . Am I a lucky girl or what???

Ok, so to my 'action' in today's challenge...of course like all days, I prayed for him this morning and I thanked God for giving me such a loving hubby...but then I decided that perhaps a good way to thank him for considering me was to repay that kindness and consideration. I rushed through getting ready (yep, it's a ponytail kind of day!) for work so that I'd have a little extra time. I used that extra time to go to the nearby bakery and pick him up a Cinnamon Roll and a Cappuchino then I went back by the apartment and left them in his car with a greeting card in which I'd written a little 'thank you' to him for always being so considerate of me...that way as he rushed out to work he had a little surprise that reminded him that someone loved him and was thinking about him this morning...and who could use that on a Monday morning??

Day Two

It's the second day of the encouragement challenge and here's what it says for today:

"...through love serve one another." Galatians 5:13b

How did you do yesterday with your first day of blessing and encouraging your husband? Was it easy? Was it hard to hold your tongue when you wanted to say something negative? We hope you're off to a good start. (If you blew it, don't give up - start again today!) There are so many practical things you can praise, if you look for them.

Today, find some way that your husband is serving you or your family. Does he help around the house? Take care of the car? Fix things that are broken? If your budget allows, give him a new, small tool with a big bow attached. But make sure he doesn't think it's part of a "Honey Do" list!

Maybe your husband's not a handyman, but does he run errand for you? Let you go first? Take care of you when you are sick? Help you make decisions? Praise him for his willingness to serve others. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great strength.

I must say that my hubby makes this challenge much less 'challenging' than it could be! Yesterday was quite easy to be successful...I did all as planned out in yesterday mornings blog and spent the day just feeling generally lucky that he choose me!

As I read this mornings text, I spent time reflecting and meditating on the ways in which my husband 'serves' me. I decided to write him a note telling him that I appreciated all he did and detailing the many things that I 'notice' him doing for me regularly which make my life easier, simpler or just plain better. I pulled out a notebook and a pen and starting listing some of the 'little things' he does for me. I must shamefully admit that as the list grew and grew with one thought bringing up another I became aware of how many of those things I'd never actually thanked him for and how often I'd just taken them as a matter of fact.

After completing my rough draft I started to consider my presentation. My first thought was that I'd like to give it to him handwritten on some nice stationary. Having no stationary around the house at the moment, I thought of creating some on the computer. I spent some time in Print Shop designing something I thought would be appropriate but then no matter how many times I tried just couldn't seem to get it to print. Giving up on this idea, I decided to run to the nearby drug store and purchase some stationary...but when I got there I found it wasn't open yet and wouldn't open until it was too late for me to have it done before I left for Church. Disappointed, I decided to come back home and send it as an email for him to receive when he gets on the computer this morning and made a mental note to go purchase some stationary today to have around the house for future use.

Day One

So today is the first day of the 30 day Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives that I have so eagerly joined with my sisters in Christ from Crosswalk. I can't say that I'll have time everyday to update but I'm going to try to as often as I possibly can...so here's what the challenge says for today:

"The heart of her husband safely trust her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:11-12

To refresh your memory...here's the 30-Day Encouragement Challenge...for the next 30 days:
*You can't say anything negative about your husband...to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband.
*Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband!

To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for "choosing you" above all other women? He found you attractive as a person, and appreciated you. Though many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that you are glad God led you together, and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner.

One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a "wake up call" that he'll never forget-a big "I love you" and an "I'm so glad I'm your wife!"

I have to admit that reading this first day made me feel pretty good...simply because I already do tell my husband pretty frequently that I appreciate him choosing me. The exact phrase I say to him almost daily is: 'Thanks for picking me'. I also telling him pretty often that I am glad that I'm his wife and that I'm proud to be his wife. Both of which are very true! I am one lucky girl in my opinion!

Despite the fact that I do today's 'assignment' already just naturally...I decided to make sure that I did it with a little extra emphasis this morning. So using one of the many various note cards I've printed up on the computer to use to leave him little love notes from time to time, I made him a handwritten thank you note for choosing me over all the other women in the world. Since I will likely be gone from home when he actually gets up today, I put it on his computer for him to find. I also put a few other 'touches' on the morning. I couldn't sleep so I just started the day early...I (quietly) got the housecleaning done (except for vacuuming which I can't think of a way to do quietly...lol) so he could get up to a clean and fresh smelling home. I went ahead to the grocery store about 3:00 AM and while I was there I picked up some doughnuts (one of the things he likes on Saturday mornings) and I put coffee on the timer to brew about the time he usually wakes up on weekends. So even though I'll probably be at my hair appointment, when he gets up he will have no doubt that he was on my mind this morning!

Something else that I've decided to do while participating in this challenge is to re-read some of the books I have picked up over the years that related to building and growing marriage. All of them I took something away from at the time...but many of which I read years ago, so I've forgotten some of the 'finer points' of their messages. Also, I hope that I've grown in my relationship with Christ since originally reading them and that can only help me to take even more from the message of honoring my husband. The first one I've chosen to read is "Romancing Your Husband" by Debra White Smith...I'm a few chapters into it already this morning and have found it to be inspiring. I can't wait to see just how I can build my husband up through this challenge...I'm truly excited!

I like challenges...How about you?

I stumbled across a great Christian message board recently and I decided that it would be some time well spent if I was going to be browsing the Internet anyway. I joined and quickly found a few forums among which I felt right at home. There's a marriage forum for discussions relating to godly marriages and how to create them and there was also a 'women's only forum' where only the ladies are allowed to participate in the discussion. (Before you go thinking it's a biased site...there's one for the fellas too) There's even a forum for games.

Anyway, on just my 2nd day as an active poster there, I saw a thread in the women's forum with a title about a 30 day husband encouragement challenge...Since, as I've mentioned before, I'm always on the lookout for new ways to bless my husband I just had to check it out. I found through reading the thread that this was the 2nd time that the women of this forum had done this challenge and that they planned to start March 1st for this round...perfect...just a couple of days from when I found the thread. I eagerly said that I was game and PM'd the thread starter (as directed in the thread) for the details. She emailed me a fifteen page PDF file with day by day directions. Oh boy...not only will I have other women to support me in my effort to build up my husband but I also have INSTRUCTIONS! That can't hurt!

Besides the day by day suggestions...the introductory paragraph lays out the ground rules...for the duration of the challenge I am to say nothing negative either to or about my husband and I am to look for ways to show him my appreciation and my pride in being his wife. I must say that I'm quite excited about this challenge...not only do I simply love a challenge...but this is a challenge that will help me show my husband just how much he means to me. I'll keep you posted...oh and if you feel led to join me, just give me your email and I'll send you the details too!

Ideas...

As I promised in an earlier post, I thought I'd pop in today to share a few of the random things that I've done for my sweet hubby through the years to show him my love and appreciation. I've been known to do the 'big planned gestures' as well as the little everyday things. I thought that for tonight I'd just share a couple of the things that I've done...I'll add to the list from time to time but for anyone looking for a new idea for their spouse perhaps one of these will inspire you to your own perfect idea...

For my hubby's 40th birthday a few years ago I decided to try to pull off a big surprise overnight trip. I wanted to do something 'big' and wanted to surprise him. For my hubby though, a surprise party would have been out of the question...it would not have been something he enjoyed. He doesn't like large social functions and isn't much on parties...so I decided to cater more to the things he liked...travel and fine dining...quiet and low key.

I started by enlisting the help of his boss (a word of warning...not all bosses would give a flip about you trying to make your spouse feel special and appreciated...some also wouldn't appreciate you contacting them, or making a time off request for one of their employees...so if you don't know if his boss would be likely to help you out you're best to err on the side of caution and skip that part of a plan). Anyway, I emailed his boss and let him know that I was planning a surprise for my hubby's birthday and wanted to take him away for the night without spoiling the surprise by having him request the following day off work so I was making the request for my husband and asking him to help me keep my secret. His boss eagerly agreed...and I think kind of enjoyed being a part of the plot. So detail one down...I could take him away for a romantic night in another city without having to get up and the crack of dawn to get him back to work the following morning. Next I considered the reasonably drivable locations from our hometown that would be of interest. I remembered that I had seen a location of my hubby's favorite resturant (Ruth's Chris Steakhouse) somewhere in Nashville (which is less than two hours away from us). So doing a little internet research, I found that it was located in the basement of a pretty nice hotel not far from downtown. Perfect I thought...I could make a reservation at the hotel and not have to worry about driving around much...the more I looked into the hotel the more perfect I realized it was...despite being a 'higher end' type hotel, not only did they allow pets but they actually catered to them...so we could even take hubby's 4 legged baby with us.

During the week I had, little by little taken things from my hubby's closet and packed a suitcase that was in my trunk. I went to the drugstore and bought travel sizes of things he'd miss if I'd tried to pack them...like his deodorant and toothbrush, etc. I got a small pill bottle and counted out just enough for the 1 night of his prescription medication, put dog food and treats in ziplock bags and bought the dog a new bed (since his was worn and needed replacement anyway). So that when I arrived home from work (he gets home first every day) that evening he had no clue the car was packed...all I'd told him was that we were going to dinner (I just left out the part about doing it in another state!) for his birthday. I do have to say he was a little confused when I told him the dog could go too...but he just went along. We were nearly out of the state before I let him in on any part of the plans. He was speechless...and I think had a really great time.

Another time when he was travelling without me, I knew he wasn't planning to rent a car at the airport and simply take a taxi to his hotel when he arrived. He was flying to a destination we'd been together before and I knew first hand that it was a tiring flight and that there were usually lines for taxis at the airport there meaning sometimes an hour wait after you arrive and get your bags before you reach your hotel and can begin to unwind. So I contacted a limo service and paid them by way of faxing them an authorization to charge their services to my credit card and had them waiting with a sign with his name on it at the baggage carousel. Just as a safeguard for him not missing them, I did tell his travel partner (who was also going to be benefitting from the ride so I knew he'd be a willing participant) about my surprise and asked him to make sure my hubby didn't miss his ride. I got a really entertaining account of my hubbys surprised reaction from him later. On that same trip, I'd Fed Ex'd a package to the hotel for him at arrival with a list of reasons that I loved him and a letter wishing him a fun guy's weekend telling him that I knew how much he needed a break and how thankful I was that he was able to go. I think that the fact that I not only was willing to let him go away for a couple days with his friends but that I was genuinely supportive of it meant a lot to him.

Well, that's about it for tonight...I will share some more ideas another time.

What will it take?

During my morning meditation time today, I was contemplating the promises of the memory verse that I quoted in yesterday's blog (Isaiah 61:1). I thought about God's promise to 'proclaim liberty to the captives and release to the prisoners'. My focus fell to the number of God's faithful which I know personally and how many among them were brought to the depth of personal relationship that they enjoy now through difficult times in their lives. Now, I don't pretend to be someone of great spiritual knowledge...I don't hold a masters of divinity degree...I'm certainly not the most biblically educated person around...I don't claim to hold any great spiritual truths that are a secret from the rest of the world, but I do have basic common sense. That common sense and the experience of seeing others (as well as my own) faith come from the ashes of trials by fire lead me to a conclusion.



What is that conclusion you ask? Quite simply that for a vast majority of us, it takes circumstances that we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, are too much for us to confront us before we are ready, willing and able to surrender to our loving Father. I'm not saying that it's impossible for someone who hasn't had troubles or difficulties in life to have deep faith and allow God to be in control of their lives...I have known a small number of people who, at least for all outward appearances, were able to lead God-centered lives without having to go through rebellion and suffering to get to that point. (Of course it is also entirely possible that even those apparently fortunate few had been through personal trials of which I was unaware.)



As for the rest of us, our own stubbornness, pride and self will causes us to believe that we are capable of managing our own lives. We may have a measure of faith but pigeon hole it as something that belongs in church on Sunday or something that has it's place in hospitals or a mandatory prayer time such as 'bedtime prayers' or 'mealtime grace'. It may not even occur to us that it has a place in our office...or in our marriage...or in our finances...that God longs for us to give Him all of our lives. It isn't until we've suffered through the consequences of that pride and self-will making such a mess of our lives which we know we can't fix on our own that we are finally able to surrender our lives over to our Savior. How he must rejoice when one of his children come to the realization that He truly is the only way!



Unfortunately, sometimes the very situation which could be that turning point in our faith is also what holds us captive and prevents us from experiencing the spirit-filled life God has in mind for us. Once we are stripped of our pride and self-importance, we may feel that we are unworthy of God's love and care. For every person that I've seen come to God in a time of trouble, I've probably also seen at least an equal number stray further from him...either out of their own self-righteous anger and bitterness, choosing to fault God for their troubles rather than looking at their own part in them...or out of shame because they recognize their shortcomings but are still too proud to humble themselves and ask for God's forgiveness and help...they simply continue on believing that God won't help someone like them. That is the amazing part of the message of God's promises in that first verse of Isaiah 61...that we don't have to be 'worthy'. It is simply God's gift to us! How awesome is that?

I have known people who have deep faith and have been amazingly blessed by God who, at one time, would have been considered hopeless by man's standards...I would even include myself in those ranks. Just as Jesus did not follow mans judgement of worth when he spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well, God doesn't 'throw away' His children when their fellow man might do just that! How grateful I am that my God is graceful and doesn't judge worth by man's standards. Among those I know who have come to God in surrender only to have their lives transformed by Him are those who have experienced addictions, broken relationships, loss of loved ones, divorce, serious illnesses, financial ruin, eating disorders, betrayal by those they trusted, physical, emotional or sexual abuse and the list goes on and on. I know what it took for God to achieve my surrender...what will it take for you?

Are you captive?

As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I'm beginning to read 'Breaking Free' by Beth Moore because the title of the book really caught my attention as I searched for a book by this author on the recommendation of a friend. The main concept of the book, to inadequately summarize, is how Christians can still be captives despite the salvation of their eternal souls and how to allow Christ to work through you to release you from captivity. *My apologies to Ms. Moore for my inability to do her work eloquent justice in my description* I completely agree that many of us, including myself, are still in some form of captivity or another despite our faith.

I noticed in looking at the contents list, that the chapters were grouped together into larger sections titled parts and that each part began with an introduction of sorts before the first chapter in that part. After reading the preface and introduction, I felt even more assured that the selection of this book was made 'for' rather than 'by' me. It spoke deeply to my heart and gave me a sense of anticipation for the gifts that may lie ahead of me in it's pages. Then came the two page introduction, if you will, of part one...I hadn't even actually reached chapter one yet and there it was in the first paragraph of the part one introduction...a phrase that strikes fear in the heart of a born and bred Lutheran...memory verses! In a moment of panic, I reflected on my poor memory which struggles to remember what it is I'm supposed to be doing today...which of my friends birthdays it is that is coming up this month...what bill is due this week...and just when is it that I have to pay that traffic ticket by again? Then I thought to myself...now you're asking me to commit verses to memory word for word? Sure I have lots of verses in my head by memory (even if I can't tell you that verse is Psalm 63:7...one of my personal favorites by the way) I also have other things in my memory such as The Lord's Prayer, The Serenity Prayer and the Apostle's Creed, most of which are there simply because I've read or recited them so frequently that they are now committed to memory without conscious effort on my part...but the thought of being expected to memorize something specific terrified me.

Once the temporary fear of the term 'memory verses' subsided, I decided that I would dedicate myself to doing exactly what it is that is suggested knowing that it would bring with it blessings all it's own. There is a total of 11 verses from various parts of the book of Isaiah that deal with captivity and with God's promises to set the captives free. I decided that for my poor memory that repetition was the only hope that I could intentionally memorize anything...so I pulled out the old index cards as if I were in school and wrote one verse per card. The small size of the cards makes it possible to carry the verse that I'm working on at the time around with me to read over and over throughout the day whenever I find myself with a spare moment or two. Two days into this study and I finally have down the first of those verses...Isaiah 61:1 which states:
"The spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me; he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and release to the prisoners"
(I probably got the punctuation all wrong...but I think God will overlook that...after all I got the words...AND the message)

The Lord has promised to set me free from captivity and for that I praise Him!

I'm taking this book very slowly...on purpose, which is hard for me. I'm Ms. Speed Reader...I am the type of reader who will often read an entire book in one sitting because once I start reading it pains me to stop until I'm 'finished'...for that matter I seem to apply that principal to far too many areas of my life. Being what I understand is "typical" for someone with ADD, I have difficulty with distractions...I don't welcome them and find myself far too often becoming agitated if they occur. This is an area on which I continue to try to improve and one way I am trying to put a more patient attitude into practice is by slowing down my reading of this book in order to not only develop my tolerance of interruptions but also so that I have time to really reflect on the material of each chapter before moving on to the next one. My reflection thus far leads me to the question...perhaps one of the things holding me the most in captivity is fear...fear of the interruptions in life...fear of expectations...fear of failure...and from these things I would love to be breaking free.