I like challenges...How about you?

I stumbled across a great Christian message board recently and I decided that it would be some time well spent if I was going to be browsing the Internet anyway. I joined and quickly found a few forums among which I felt right at home. There's a marriage forum for discussions relating to godly marriages and how to create them and there was also a 'women's only forum' where only the ladies are allowed to participate in the discussion. (Before you go thinking it's a biased site...there's one for the fellas too) There's even a forum for games.

Anyway, on just my 2nd day as an active poster there, I saw a thread in the women's forum with a title about a 30 day husband encouragement challenge...Since, as I've mentioned before, I'm always on the lookout for new ways to bless my husband I just had to check it out. I found through reading the thread that this was the 2nd time that the women of this forum had done this challenge and that they planned to start March 1st for this round...perfect...just a couple of days from when I found the thread. I eagerly said that I was game and PM'd the thread starter (as directed in the thread) for the details. She emailed me a fifteen page PDF file with day by day directions. Oh boy...not only will I have other women to support me in my effort to build up my husband but I also have INSTRUCTIONS! That can't hurt!

Besides the day by day suggestions...the introductory paragraph lays out the ground rules...for the duration of the challenge I am to say nothing negative either to or about my husband and I am to look for ways to show him my appreciation and my pride in being his wife. I must say that I'm quite excited about this challenge...not only do I simply love a challenge...but this is a challenge that will help me show my husband just how much he means to me. I'll keep you posted...oh and if you feel led to join me, just give me your email and I'll send you the details too!

Ideas...

As I promised in an earlier post, I thought I'd pop in today to share a few of the random things that I've done for my sweet hubby through the years to show him my love and appreciation. I've been known to do the 'big planned gestures' as well as the little everyday things. I thought that for tonight I'd just share a couple of the things that I've done...I'll add to the list from time to time but for anyone looking for a new idea for their spouse perhaps one of these will inspire you to your own perfect idea...

For my hubby's 40th birthday a few years ago I decided to try to pull off a big surprise overnight trip. I wanted to do something 'big' and wanted to surprise him. For my hubby though, a surprise party would have been out of the question...it would not have been something he enjoyed. He doesn't like large social functions and isn't much on parties...so I decided to cater more to the things he liked...travel and fine dining...quiet and low key.

I started by enlisting the help of his boss (a word of warning...not all bosses would give a flip about you trying to make your spouse feel special and appreciated...some also wouldn't appreciate you contacting them, or making a time off request for one of their employees...so if you don't know if his boss would be likely to help you out you're best to err on the side of caution and skip that part of a plan). Anyway, I emailed his boss and let him know that I was planning a surprise for my hubby's birthday and wanted to take him away for the night without spoiling the surprise by having him request the following day off work so I was making the request for my husband and asking him to help me keep my secret. His boss eagerly agreed...and I think kind of enjoyed being a part of the plot. So detail one down...I could take him away for a romantic night in another city without having to get up and the crack of dawn to get him back to work the following morning. Next I considered the reasonably drivable locations from our hometown that would be of interest. I remembered that I had seen a location of my hubby's favorite resturant (Ruth's Chris Steakhouse) somewhere in Nashville (which is less than two hours away from us). So doing a little internet research, I found that it was located in the basement of a pretty nice hotel not far from downtown. Perfect I thought...I could make a reservation at the hotel and not have to worry about driving around much...the more I looked into the hotel the more perfect I realized it was...despite being a 'higher end' type hotel, not only did they allow pets but they actually catered to them...so we could even take hubby's 4 legged baby with us.

During the week I had, little by little taken things from my hubby's closet and packed a suitcase that was in my trunk. I went to the drugstore and bought travel sizes of things he'd miss if I'd tried to pack them...like his deodorant and toothbrush, etc. I got a small pill bottle and counted out just enough for the 1 night of his prescription medication, put dog food and treats in ziplock bags and bought the dog a new bed (since his was worn and needed replacement anyway). So that when I arrived home from work (he gets home first every day) that evening he had no clue the car was packed...all I'd told him was that we were going to dinner (I just left out the part about doing it in another state!) for his birthday. I do have to say he was a little confused when I told him the dog could go too...but he just went along. We were nearly out of the state before I let him in on any part of the plans. He was speechless...and I think had a really great time.

Another time when he was travelling without me, I knew he wasn't planning to rent a car at the airport and simply take a taxi to his hotel when he arrived. He was flying to a destination we'd been together before and I knew first hand that it was a tiring flight and that there were usually lines for taxis at the airport there meaning sometimes an hour wait after you arrive and get your bags before you reach your hotel and can begin to unwind. So I contacted a limo service and paid them by way of faxing them an authorization to charge their services to my credit card and had them waiting with a sign with his name on it at the baggage carousel. Just as a safeguard for him not missing them, I did tell his travel partner (who was also going to be benefitting from the ride so I knew he'd be a willing participant) about my surprise and asked him to make sure my hubby didn't miss his ride. I got a really entertaining account of my hubbys surprised reaction from him later. On that same trip, I'd Fed Ex'd a package to the hotel for him at arrival with a list of reasons that I loved him and a letter wishing him a fun guy's weekend telling him that I knew how much he needed a break and how thankful I was that he was able to go. I think that the fact that I not only was willing to let him go away for a couple days with his friends but that I was genuinely supportive of it meant a lot to him.

Well, that's about it for tonight...I will share some more ideas another time.

What will it take?

During my morning meditation time today, I was contemplating the promises of the memory verse that I quoted in yesterday's blog (Isaiah 61:1). I thought about God's promise to 'proclaim liberty to the captives and release to the prisoners'. My focus fell to the number of God's faithful which I know personally and how many among them were brought to the depth of personal relationship that they enjoy now through difficult times in their lives. Now, I don't pretend to be someone of great spiritual knowledge...I don't hold a masters of divinity degree...I'm certainly not the most biblically educated person around...I don't claim to hold any great spiritual truths that are a secret from the rest of the world, but I do have basic common sense. That common sense and the experience of seeing others (as well as my own) faith come from the ashes of trials by fire lead me to a conclusion.



What is that conclusion you ask? Quite simply that for a vast majority of us, it takes circumstances that we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, are too much for us to confront us before we are ready, willing and able to surrender to our loving Father. I'm not saying that it's impossible for someone who hasn't had troubles or difficulties in life to have deep faith and allow God to be in control of their lives...I have known a small number of people who, at least for all outward appearances, were able to lead God-centered lives without having to go through rebellion and suffering to get to that point. (Of course it is also entirely possible that even those apparently fortunate few had been through personal trials of which I was unaware.)



As for the rest of us, our own stubbornness, pride and self will causes us to believe that we are capable of managing our own lives. We may have a measure of faith but pigeon hole it as something that belongs in church on Sunday or something that has it's place in hospitals or a mandatory prayer time such as 'bedtime prayers' or 'mealtime grace'. It may not even occur to us that it has a place in our office...or in our marriage...or in our finances...that God longs for us to give Him all of our lives. It isn't until we've suffered through the consequences of that pride and self-will making such a mess of our lives which we know we can't fix on our own that we are finally able to surrender our lives over to our Savior. How he must rejoice when one of his children come to the realization that He truly is the only way!



Unfortunately, sometimes the very situation which could be that turning point in our faith is also what holds us captive and prevents us from experiencing the spirit-filled life God has in mind for us. Once we are stripped of our pride and self-importance, we may feel that we are unworthy of God's love and care. For every person that I've seen come to God in a time of trouble, I've probably also seen at least an equal number stray further from him...either out of their own self-righteous anger and bitterness, choosing to fault God for their troubles rather than looking at their own part in them...or out of shame because they recognize their shortcomings but are still too proud to humble themselves and ask for God's forgiveness and help...they simply continue on believing that God won't help someone like them. That is the amazing part of the message of God's promises in that first verse of Isaiah 61...that we don't have to be 'worthy'. It is simply God's gift to us! How awesome is that?

I have known people who have deep faith and have been amazingly blessed by God who, at one time, would have been considered hopeless by man's standards...I would even include myself in those ranks. Just as Jesus did not follow mans judgement of worth when he spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well, God doesn't 'throw away' His children when their fellow man might do just that! How grateful I am that my God is graceful and doesn't judge worth by man's standards. Among those I know who have come to God in surrender only to have their lives transformed by Him are those who have experienced addictions, broken relationships, loss of loved ones, divorce, serious illnesses, financial ruin, eating disorders, betrayal by those they trusted, physical, emotional or sexual abuse and the list goes on and on. I know what it took for God to achieve my surrender...what will it take for you?

Are you captive?

As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I'm beginning to read 'Breaking Free' by Beth Moore because the title of the book really caught my attention as I searched for a book by this author on the recommendation of a friend. The main concept of the book, to inadequately summarize, is how Christians can still be captives despite the salvation of their eternal souls and how to allow Christ to work through you to release you from captivity. *My apologies to Ms. Moore for my inability to do her work eloquent justice in my description* I completely agree that many of us, including myself, are still in some form of captivity or another despite our faith.

I noticed in looking at the contents list, that the chapters were grouped together into larger sections titled parts and that each part began with an introduction of sorts before the first chapter in that part. After reading the preface and introduction, I felt even more assured that the selection of this book was made 'for' rather than 'by' me. It spoke deeply to my heart and gave me a sense of anticipation for the gifts that may lie ahead of me in it's pages. Then came the two page introduction, if you will, of part one...I hadn't even actually reached chapter one yet and there it was in the first paragraph of the part one introduction...a phrase that strikes fear in the heart of a born and bred Lutheran...memory verses! In a moment of panic, I reflected on my poor memory which struggles to remember what it is I'm supposed to be doing today...which of my friends birthdays it is that is coming up this month...what bill is due this week...and just when is it that I have to pay that traffic ticket by again? Then I thought to myself...now you're asking me to commit verses to memory word for word? Sure I have lots of verses in my head by memory (even if I can't tell you that verse is Psalm 63:7...one of my personal favorites by the way) I also have other things in my memory such as The Lord's Prayer, The Serenity Prayer and the Apostle's Creed, most of which are there simply because I've read or recited them so frequently that they are now committed to memory without conscious effort on my part...but the thought of being expected to memorize something specific terrified me.

Once the temporary fear of the term 'memory verses' subsided, I decided that I would dedicate myself to doing exactly what it is that is suggested knowing that it would bring with it blessings all it's own. There is a total of 11 verses from various parts of the book of Isaiah that deal with captivity and with God's promises to set the captives free. I decided that for my poor memory that repetition was the only hope that I could intentionally memorize anything...so I pulled out the old index cards as if I were in school and wrote one verse per card. The small size of the cards makes it possible to carry the verse that I'm working on at the time around with me to read over and over throughout the day whenever I find myself with a spare moment or two. Two days into this study and I finally have down the first of those verses...Isaiah 61:1 which states:
"The spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me; he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and release to the prisoners"
(I probably got the punctuation all wrong...but I think God will overlook that...after all I got the words...AND the message)

The Lord has promised to set me free from captivity and for that I praise Him!

I'm taking this book very slowly...on purpose, which is hard for me. I'm Ms. Speed Reader...I am the type of reader who will often read an entire book in one sitting because once I start reading it pains me to stop until I'm 'finished'...for that matter I seem to apply that principal to far too many areas of my life. Being what I understand is "typical" for someone with ADD, I have difficulty with distractions...I don't welcome them and find myself far too often becoming agitated if they occur. This is an area on which I continue to try to improve and one way I am trying to put a more patient attitude into practice is by slowing down my reading of this book in order to not only develop my tolerance of interruptions but also so that I have time to really reflect on the material of each chapter before moving on to the next one. My reflection thus far leads me to the question...perhaps one of the things holding me the most in captivity is fear...fear of the interruptions in life...fear of expectations...fear of failure...and from these things I would love to be breaking free.

One of my greatest wishes...

is to be able to be a godly wife. Neither a morning nor an evening prayer time goes by without my including in my prayers a small set of always present petitions. Other elements come and go as I feel moved to pray for someone or something in particular...be it confession of my own shortcomings, a call for help in overcoming a character flaw that I'm struggling with, an ill friend, someone going through a particularly trying time, a situation that needs God's loving touch, or simply one of my residents who, through their words or actions that day, made apparent their need to have someone praying for them...any one of those things, and many more could easily make their way into my prayers at any given time. But there are a few elements which are constant parts of my prayers, among them is my prayer for God to mold me and form me into the woman and the wife that He calls me to be.

I feel so deeply blessed by my loving and compassionate husband. That blessing makes fulfilling God's expectations of me in my role as a wife that much more important to me. Not that I don't want to fulfill God's expectations in all areas of my life...I do...despite the fact that I know that as a flawed person I am not capable of such perfection...it's just that I take my responsibilities as my husband's helpmate to heart in a more personal way than I think I do with some of the other things that God calls me to be and do.

For that reason, I'm always on the lookout for inspirations and ideas that help me to convey the love and honor I feel to my spouse. Sometimes new ideas just sort of 'come to me' but other times I have a difficult time with having an original thought on anything at all...at those times I search out ideas of others which I might could adapt or build on to create something 'just right' for my beloved. That brings me to the main point of this particular post and that is simply this...from time to time I will post some of the 'romantic gestures' that I have done for my sweetheart in hopes that I might inspire someone else to (at least for a moment) make their marriage commitment to their spouse and to God a priority in their day. The flip side of that is that if you happen across this blog and would like to share some of your own ideas with me, well...I'd be grateful.

Breaking Free...

A sister in Christ, Wendy, told me a couple years ago that I would really enjoy Beth Moore's books...unfortunately, life happened...I got a new job that was far more time intensive than I ever could have imagined. Sadly I allowed that position to take over my life for nearly a year and a half during which time I had little time for the reading that I have long enjoyed. About six months ago I took a new position which has once again allowed me to begin living life more fully.

I have recommitted myself to my loving and patient spouse...I have been taking time to play with computer graphics and photo editing (one of my silly but relaxing hobbies)...I spend time daily in meditation and I've begun to spend time reading again...remembering the recommendation of my friend, I went to the bookstore in search of a book by Ms. Moore and quickly stumbled across one that I thought was extremely fitting. It was titled 'Breaking Free'. I couldn't help but smile as I thought 'Ok God...I hear you'. And so I proceeded to check out and to bring my purchase home. I've just begun reading but so far, I have to say...Wendy, you were right...and I also have to say the same to God as well because I get the feeling that this book is going to be even more fitting than I ever imagined as I read the aptly titled cover. I'll keep you posted...

Who doesn't wonder...

just what it is that God has in mind for them? Like most women of faith, it is my hearts desire to be in God's will for me. I pray for guidance and direction and meditate on His word. I try to follow His example in my life as much as possible...yet I often question, like most children do, how I measure up to my Father's expectations.

Lately, I have spent a lot of time contemplating the portrait of a woman and wife as it is displayed in the 31st chapter of Proverbs. I have been striving to be a blessing to my loving husband and have found the wisdom in these passages to be inspirational. I find, personally, at the core of its message the implication that I will bring honor to my husband through my thoughts, words and actions.

Not imagining myself to be much of a biblical scholar, I have recently been researching various interpretations of the 'capable wife' of Proverbs. I was both saddened and intrigued by the number of opinions I saw professing this to be simply outdated sexism. I'm very curious about modern day thoughts on the biblical views of the roles of women both in the home and in the society as a whole. So come on...tell me...what are your thoughts?

*originally posted at lutheransonline