Challenge Update...

Ok, I got a bit behind on updating on the Encouragement Challenge...today is the last day...and I have been participating...just not writing about it. In case there is anyone else out there who stumbled upon this blog and decided to take the challenge...I'm going to post the text for days 27-30. (I'll also write about today's challenge)

Day 27:

"Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the LORD." Ps. 31:24

You have almost completed the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge." Perhaps it has taken you a tremendous amount of courage to speak words of encouragement consistently to your husband. Courage comes as we place our trust in God. Have faith that God will continue to work long after your encouraging words have been shared.

There are lots of "tough guys" in the world, but true courage comes from the Lord. Does your husband exhibit the courage to take an unpopular stand, perhaps even to stand alone against evil? Is he courageous in his faith? Does he work hard to change injustice? Is he a stickler for the truth? Does he protect you or your family from the attacks of the Enemy? Psalm 27:14 says this kind of courage comes from "waiting" on the Lord for His strength.

If your budget allows, "award" your husband with a medal, trophy, framed picture of a brave knight, or some other token that represents his courage as a man of God. Praise evidences of your husband's courage in protecting you, your marriage, your family, or your home.


Day 28:

"The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom, and before honor is humility." Proverbs 15:33

Sometimes, when we just "know" we are right and our husbands are wrong, it takes great humility to honor them. It is difficult to speak well of our husbands when our own hearts are puffed up with pride. As part of your Encouragement Challenge today, pray that you will respond to the Lord in faith and humility before you react to your husband. Speak wisely and well, and leave the results to God.

The humility that comes from a right relationship with God - the humility that comes when a man is willing to listen to God and be taught from His Word - is indeed a beautiful quality. Jesus was an example of this kind of humility when he was willing to submit to His Father's will (John 6:38; Matt. 26:39). Does your husband have that kind of humility? Is he willing to learn from and submit to direction from the Lord? Let your husband know how precious this is to your marriage relationship.

Day 29:

"A prudent man foresees evil, and hides himself; the simple pass on, and are punished." Proverbs 27:12

As you near the end of your Encouragement Challenge, take time to think about your husband's responses to the wickedness of the culture, the media, etc. Does your husband recognize and avoid evil? Does he regularly turn his back on pornography, sexual temptations, and the urge to lie and cheat? This is a valuable character trait. Like Joseph in the Old Testament, who fled from the wicked advances of Potiphar's wife, this takes an understanding that these kinds of sins are first and foremost, sins against God (Gen. 39:9).

Praise your husband when he recognizes and turns his back on wickedness. If you can think of a circumstance where your husband stood for righteousness, remind him of that today-and express your gratitude.


Day 30:

"...This is my beloved, and this is my friend..." Song of Solomon 5:16b

Friends can be completely honest with each other, but friendships are strained when truth is not spoken in love. How are you speaking to your beloved? Are you so "used" to him that you don't appreciate the wonder of his friendship? That is your challenge today. Is your sweetheart your best friend? Does he know this? Have you told him, or do you assume he "just knows"?

Friendship is something that is cultivated through the good times and the bad. Friends can share their hearts, but they don't step on each other's hearts. The way to have and be a good friend is to cultivate and celebrate the relationship. As you end this "30-Day Encouragement Challenge," celebrate your friendship with your husband.

Get alone and reflect on your beloved friend. Write him a letter, listing the qualities you admire and appreciate about him. If you are creative with words, write and frame a poem about him. Perhaps you can prepare a special meal, just for the two of you, and read the letter or poem to him. Ask if you can pray for him, and if he is willing, thank God for your love and friendship, asking for His blessing on your home.

I can honestly say that my husband really is my best friend...when I have a bad day, he's the first person I call to cheer me up or just to 'vent'...when I have a good day, he's the first person I want to call and share it with...if I have an award or achievement, he's the first person I tell. He knows me like no one else...and loves me anyway! If that isn't the definition of a best friend then I don't know what is!!! I'm incredibly blessed to be married to my best friend.

I have found this challenge to be incredibly blessing for me. I have always been one to try to show my hubby how much he means to me...but I liked the angle of having a particular topic...even though some of them were difficult for me when they dealt with complimenting his spiritual life...but even on the days that the topic wasn't about one of his strengths, then it gave me something to specifically pray over him.

Day 26

We're moving right along in the 30 day challenge only a few more days left and here's today's challenge:

"And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men." Luke 2:52

If you have faithfully encouraged your husband, you will no doubt have seen some changes in his life...and your own life, as well. Encouragement is a wonderful habit that we hope you will continue for the rest of your life. The important thing is to keep growing in Christ and obeying the Word of God as you respond to your husband.

As you consider today how to bless your husband and not tear him down, think of ways that you can encourage balance in your home. Jesus led a balanced life. He grew mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. As you see your husband branching out in these areas, is there a pattern of growth? Is your husband striving for balance in his life? If so, let him know you have noticed, and ask how you can further encourage that balance.

If your husband is out of balance - focusing on one area to the exclusion of the others - consider whether there are things you can do to help restore or create balance in his life. Can you encourage times for sports or exercise? Keep the children quiet for a study time? Invite friends over for dinner? Stimulate his mind? Be sure you are working toward balance in your own life, as well. Be an example!

I must admit that neither of us is particularly good at the balance thing. I tend to get over involved in work or other activities sometimes...I get so busy 'doing' that I don't take time to relax. My hubby on the other hand will sometimes get so wrapped up in watching sports or something similar that he doesn't 'get out' much. I think we could each take a few cues from the other and we'd both be more balanced. I have been trying to take time out for relaxing at home a little more lately...I've actually learned to say no to people trying to convince me to add something to my schedule when I really shouldn't add anything else...so I'm making progress...but I still could use a bit more balance in my life.

Day 25

Wow, I can hardly believe that there are only 5 more days left in the challenge...here's today's text:

"...seek peace, and pursue it." Ps. 34:14b "

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." Is. 26:3

Before you consider whether these verses describe your husband, consider your own presence in the home. Do you promote an atmosphere of peace, or do critical words often flow from your mouth? Do you struggle with anger? If so, before you continue with your Encouragement Challenge, confess these sinful habits to the Lord, and determine to speak words of peace to your family today.

Does your husband bring an atmosphere of peace into your home? Is his presence a calming influence? Does he bring music, entertainment, books or people into your home that build a sense of serenity? Let him know how much you appreciate this wonderful quality, and support his choices. If, on the other hand, he is quickly angered or he creates chaos rather than calm, ask God to give you an abundance of the kind of peace that will speak to his heart. Be patient and loving. Create an inviting atmosphere of peace, as much as possible.


Our home is actually a very peaceful place. I just love coming home from all the chaos of my work to a place where things are usually calm and laid back.

Day 24

Today is day 24 and the encouragement text says this:

"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." Eph. 6:4

Children can be quite a challenge to the marriage relationship. A wise wife will support her husband's leadership in the home as much as possible, and will praise him for his fathering skills. Negativity makes a man feel like a failure, and may make him to want to give up.

Does your husband discipline your children wisely? Does he show them love and encourage them? Does he take an interest in their activities and dreams? Does he spend time with them? Does he take part in developing their character? Praise him for these important life skills. If you don't have children - is your husband positive and encouraging around other people's children? Let him know that you have noticed.

If your husband does not experience positive relationships with children, you will need to figure out why. Perhaps he had negative experiences as a child with his own parents, and needs to learn how to respond. Perhaps you can lovingly and patiently show him how to parent - while still maintaining his authority in the home.


My husband and I have no children together but he's been a very caring and loving father to my children from my 1st marriage. When we married I had a 13 y/o girl and 6 y/o boy...if that isn't 'baptism by fire' into the world of parenting I don't know what is! He handled it very well...sometimes perhaps struggling with his expectations but then again don't we all? We have dreams for our children...that's a double edged sword...it's what caring parents do...wish for the best for their children and try to raise them to be responsible, good people...but sometimes in our own dreams for our children we aren't always able to allow them to make their own mistakes...we want to protect them.

Day 23

Continuing on with the challenge...only one week to go (At least technically...as far as I'm concerned this is a life-long 'challenge' that should continue long after the specific directions of the text of the challenge end). Here's what it says about day 23:

"Let your speech always be with grace..." Col. 4:6a

You're moving toward the home stretch of your 30-day challenge! Just a reminder of what you've committed:
*You can't say anything negative about your husband... to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband.
*Each day, say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband!

"In all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works..." Titus 2:7a

Does the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge" seem like hard work? Or is it becoming a pleasant exercise in genuine Christ-likeness in your home? You are only scratching the surface of ways to encourage your mate. Is your husband organized? Is he diligent? Is he persistent? These are all related to a pattern of personal disciplines that are worthy of your praise. Affirm him for one or more of these traits that you see in him. Some men have not developed these qualities because they are naturally more spontaneous. You can praise his spontaneity! Perhaps God has called you alongside to help him with disciplines he has not yet developed - but this does not include nagging. You can keep him organized. Whatever the need, you can be your husband's cheerleader, encouraging him when he wants to give up.

I am truly enjoying this 'challenge'. I really am married to an amazing man and I love the daily reminders to appreciate that fact! The role of being my husband's cheerleader is one that I feel fortunate to have as an opportunity.

Day 22

Well, I'm finally caught up to the current day's text which says:

"Let your speech always be with grace..." Colossians 4:6a

Focus today on how you represent your husband in your home, your church, and your community. In this challenge to encourage, ask: "If all my family and friends knew about my husband came from a filter of what I've said about him, what would they think of my husband?" Do you need to change the filter? Do you talk positively about your husband to others... or do you complain and criticize?

Your speech should reflect 1 Cor. 13 love. Your words should be kind, and should never "rejoice in iniquity" (v. 6). Refrain from listing your husband's faults to others. Satan likes to trick us in this area - be wary of sharing barbed "prayer requests." Remember, "Love will cover a multitude of sins" (1 Pet. 4:8b).

Present your husband before others today in a strong, positive manner. Slip in a "good word" for your spouse. Resist the urge to correct or belittle him in front of others. Some of what you say may come back to him - and you want your words to be sweet, building him up and never tearing him down. Don't forget: you are always criticizing - or encouraging - before an audience. God hears your conversations when you are alone with your husband in your own home. May your speech be always seasoned with grace.

Today's challenge is one that requires very little effort on my part. Talking good about my husband comes naturally because I feel so lucky to be married to him. He's wonderful...and I'm proud to tell the the whole world just how amazing.

Catch up continued...

Day 21's text said:

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:33

If we are living in light of eternity, everything we think, do or say is seen from an eternal perspective. We will someday give an account for our failure to speak words of love and encouragement. Determine today that your words will be sweet and helpful. Does your husband have an eternal perspective that allows him to reject materialism and temporal values? Express your gratefulness for his value system, and praise him for putting eternal things before riches and other things of this world.

If this is a problem area for him, consider how you might alter your own value system and live for eternity in front of him, encouraging him to do the same. Only two things will go into eternity...the Word of God and people. Be sure that you are focusing on the right things.

The peace that I find through my relationship with God, reminds me daily that there is nothing this earth can offer me which can compare to what He has planned for me in eternity. That relationship is an area that I've been focusing myself on a lot lately...and if that focus positively impacts my hubby as well then all the better.

Ok, so I'm behind

I'm a little behind on posting on the encouragement challenge. It's not that I haven't been doing it...just that I haven't been posting to my blog. Computers were down at work on Wednesday and Thursday...which put me behind and meant that what time I did spend on the computer since then has mainly been spent playing catch up. Now that the work is up to date, I thought I should try to bring the blog up to date as well.

Thursday was day 20 and the text said:

"And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

It's time for some heart examination. As you continue in this 30-day challenge, have you found any roots of bitterness that are contaminating your relationship with your husband? Do you understand that as long as you are unwilling to forgive your husband - by God's grace and in His power - you will not be able to encourage him? Your own resentment will keep getting in the way. Now is the time to deal with any unforgiving attitudes. Forgive him, even as God has forgiven you.

Is your husband a forgiving man? Does he keep short accounts of your problems? Express your thankfulness for such a man. Does your husband - rightly or wrongly - harbor grudges against you? Again, are there things you need to change, or do you need to ask for his forgiveness for an offense? Help your husband be more forgiving by quickly forgiving him for his mistakes.


I can honestly say that I hold no resentments in my heart of any kind toward my husband. I couldn't always say that...not because he actually gave me any reason to...just that I didn't always have realistic expectations of marriage. I made the mistake that, I believe, many wives make early in their marriages...expecting that their beloved is not only willing but actually able to completely fulfill them. This puts the husband in the impossible position of being expected to do God's job. No human can do that...and for that reason, such expectations set us up to be disappointed unreasonably. Thankfully, I have recognized these unreasonable expectations on my part and made an ongoing conscious effort to avoid them and to place my expectations for mental, emotional and spiritual fulfillment where they belonged in the first place...in the capable hands of my creator.

As for my husband's ability to forgive...I have seen him harbor resentments in the past about various things unrelated to me and/or our relationship...but I can truthfully say that whenever I sincerely have asked for his forgiveness I believe that it has been granted to me. I feel incredibly fortunate that he is understanding and accepting of my humanness.

Day 19

Today's text says:

"My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand. His head is purest gold; his hair is wavy and black as a raven. His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels. His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh. His arms are rods of gold set with chrysolite. His body is like polished ivory decorated with sapphires. His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars. His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. " Song of Solomon 5:10-16

Criticism leaves scars; but encouragement can bring healing. Remember that today as you focus on your "30-Day Encouragement Challenge." Almost nothing is as devastating to a man as the belief that his wife finds him repulsive. Sadly, many women unwisely criticize their husbands' bodies. Have you ever considered how wonderfully God designed men and women? No matter how a man looks - by the standards of the world - a loving God designed them all, and they are all "beautiful" in His sight. Encourage your husband today by praising his uniqueness.

As you look over your husband's body, from the tip of his toes to his bald or bushy head, thank God that your husband is "wonderfully made," then admire your husband verbally. (Strong arms? Hairy chest? Firm hands? Big feet? Rugged chin? Wide shoulders? Compassionate eyes? Broad smile?)


This is an easy area for me to have a positive attitude about because my hubby is a very attractive guy...and I do let him know that I think so pretty regularly.

Day 18

Today's text says:

"You will show me the path of life. In your presence is fullness of joy...Happy are the people whose God is the LORD!" Ps. 16:11a; 144:15b "
A merry heart does good like medicine..." Prov. 17:22a

It's hard to criticize others when we are enjoying their company. Instead of speaking negatively to your husband today, enjoy him! Encourage him! As you experience fullness of joy with God, share some of that joy with your husband. Does your husband have a playful side? A great sense of humor? Is there a "little boy" that wants to escape from time to time, reflecting the joy in his heart? This is a wonderful part of who he is, and a great strength. Let him know that you appreciate his joyfulness and his playful spirit. Find opportunities to join him in positive play times. If your husband can sometimes be overly serious, coax him out occasionally for some play times. It will help him relieve stress and relax.


My hubby and I have lots of fun together. True that we spend the majority of our time just hanging out at home...but we laugh a lot...and when we do get out...it's usually for something fun. We enjoy travelling together and are never at a loss for something to laugh about when we do.

Day 17

Happy St. Paddy's Day everyone...here's today's challenge:

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." Prov. 9:10

Are you a wise woman? Do you open your mouth with wisdom, as Proverbs 31:26 suggests? As you continue in your 30-day challenge, remember that a wise woman encourages her husband.

Is your husband a "wise man?" Does he have a godly perspective that comes from knowing God and walking with Him in obedience? Does he have a sense of purpose for his life and vision for your home? Tell him how much this means to you. If you are not sure about your husband's vision for your home, ask him, "Honey, what do you want to accomplish with our marriage and home in the years to come?" and "How can I help you accomplish that?" If he does not have a vision, your questions may inspire him to develop one.

If your husband is not walking with God - or perhaps, does not know the Lord - you have the opportunity and responsibility to practice your faith and create a thirst for God. Thank God for giving your husband a place in his heart that only He can fill, and keep praying that he will turn to the Lord to fill that vacuum!

Praying that I can become more like the woman of Proverbs has been an ongoing prayer of mine...not only in the area of wisdom, but all the way around. I continue to ask God to give me a heart that longs to follow Him and that He give that to my husband as well.

Day 16

Just past the halfway point of the challenge and I'm thankful that I took it on. Here's today's challenge:

"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." Genesis 2:18

God says that it is not good for man to be alone. But the way some women criticize their mates, the husbands may long for solitude. Be careful today not to criticize your mate, but look for ways to encourage him personally and publicly. Speaking of communication, does your husband communicate with you? God has made you a companion and helper for your husband, and part of being "one flesh" with him is the privilege of sharing and discussing personal needs and concerns. Thank God for that wonderful gift. Thank your husband for communicating with you.

If your spouse does not communicate as you wish, look for ways that he communicates that are normal for him - smiling at you, nodding his head, even a pleasant "grunt!" - and then thank him for letting you know that he cares. Perhaps he needs to be lovingly taught how to communicate. Be patient with him...and listen when he does speak.

Being totally honest, I have to say that my husband is much better at communication than I am really. I've been working on it...and I'm getting better but I still have to give my husband the credit for being better at it than I am. I feel very lucky to have such a wonderful spouse!

Day 15

Today's challenge speaks to a topic that has been a subject of many of my prayers. Here's what it says:

"But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..." 2 Peter 3:18a

Sometimes we live so close to our spouse that we fail to see him as others do; we only see our husband's faults. But take a step back. Perhaps he is growing spiritually in ways you have failed to appreciate. How can you encourage his growth in a fresh, new way? Remember - your husband is accountable to God for his spiritual development. You are accountable to God to encourage and not hinder that growth.

Can you identify an area of spiritual strength in your husband? Does he pray or read his Bible regularly? Does he like to read about or discuss spiritual matters? Does he go to church with you? Is he a spiritual leader? What do others say about him? If you can identify a specific area, praise him for that. If not, pray earnestly that God will work in his heart, and watch for signs of spiritual growth in the future.

I know that my husband has faith...I've never doubted that...I continue to pray that he will find peace in a personal relationship with God.

Day 14

Today's challenge is this:

"The righteous man walks in his integrity..." Prov. 20:7a

Every week there are news reports about men who gave in to temptations and compromised what they said they believed. We hear countless reports about dishonest business dealings, hidden infidelity, and hypocritical leaders. It's so easy to focus on these things and ignore those who are being honest, faithful and genuine.

As you continue in the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge," determine to look for ways that your husband stands against the culture. Is your spouse a man of integrity? Is he fair in his dealings with people? Does he understand the meaning of justice? Is he honest in business? Unhypocritical in his faith? Consider all the ways a man can live in integrity, and praise your husband for one of them. As you have the opportunity - as it is appropriate - share examples of your husband's honesty and integrity with others.


My hubby is a strong believer in keeping his word to others...which is something that you don't always see in today's world. It is certainly one of the things that I admire in his character.

Day 13

Today will be a short blog...commentary wise...because you can file the comments under...'nobody's business' ;) Here's the text for Day 13:

"I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me." Song of Solomon 7:10

The sexual relationship. It's one of those elements - along with money and children - that can derail a marriage through negative comments. Negativity destroys intimacy, but encouragement builds and strengthens the marriage bond. Let's get practical here. Is your husband a "good lover?" Have you told him so? Be specific. Let him know when he pleases you. Most husbands genuinely want to please their wives, especially in this important area of marriage.

In moments of intimacy, do you find your mind wandering? This can change as you focus on something wonderful about your husband. Realize that your husband wants intimacy with you...his desire is toward you. Does this area of your marriage need some work? Remember that this is a sensitive area for men. Be sure to encourage his lovemaking and masculinity in positive ways.

About all I'm really going to say about today's challenge is that I don't leave any doubts in my hubby's mind that I enjoy his abilities in this area :)

Day 12

Creeping closer to the halfway point of the challenge. Today's topic speaks to me in a good way. I freely admit this was a point of weakness for me in the past...I often expected my husband to fulfill needs that I should have been turning to God for fulfillment. I became aware of that and have begun making it a regular thing to examine my expectations and the areas in which I'm in the wrong. I've found that it can be difficult to change old patterns...but it's worth the effort.

"With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love." Eph. 4:2

Part of the difficulty you may face as you continue in this 30-day challenge to encourage your husband is that you really are struggling to find positive things to praise. Perhaps the problem is not with your husband. Have you checked your own heart? Sometimes we get disillusioned because of our own unreasonable or unrealistic expectations (Prov. 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.).

It may not be that our mates are doing something wrong; it's simply that we expect too much in some areas. Our expectations must be met in God alone, and then we will have the right perspective to ask God for the healing and grace we need to respond to others. How sad that we give more grace to others than to those in our own homes. Today, try to look at your husband through eyes of grace. Verbally thank your husband for what he is already doing.

My husband is simply wonderful...and I enjoy my life with him. It's so much easier to do that when you aren't placing unrealistic expectations on someone...and just enjoying the blessing they are to you! As for actions...I've been pretty good lately about telling him that I appreciate him...and also trying to SHOW him, because after all actions speak louder than words! I'll have to come up with something today though...not going to get to spend much time with him today because of a class tonight...and I want to make sure I let him know how special I think he is today!

Wondering where you can get some great Christian apparel?

Day 11

Today's part of the challenge is a subject that is often hotly debated...but I believe that most people who 'oppose' the concept aren't understanding it from the proper perspective. Here's the text for today:

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." Ephesians 5:22

Women who are constantly negative toward their husbands - especially by speaking evil of them to others - show great disrespect. Determine not to do that today (or ever!). This challenge to encourage is closely connected to submission. Men respond to women who respect them. What do you respect about your husband? Part of that respect includes submission to his authority. Let your husband know how respecting him makes it easier to submit to his leadership. Show your respect in public by listening to him and smiling at him when he speaks. Place your hand in his as you walk together.

If you feel there is nothing to respect, search harder ...nearly every man has some core characteristic that can be nurtured and respected. In any case, you must still cultivate a submissive spirit to his position of leadership..."as to the Lord."

This is an area that I have only recently begun to understand and make a conscious effort to understand. So often people use the instruction for a wife to be submissive to their husband to excuse a domineering and controlling attitude. What such people leave out of the equation is the balancing instruction that the husband is to love his wife. If you love someone you don't WANT to control it. A part of honoring your husband is allowing him his place as the head of the home...and this is an honor that I want to give my husband.

Day 10

Well I'm a third of the way through the challenge...and I feel incredibly blessed to have been a part of it. I love showing my appreciation to my husband (and like the inspiration for new ways to do it!). Here's the text for day ten:

"Behold you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant!..." Song of Solomon 1:16a

We all crave appreciation. We want to know that we are valued and loved. Early love letters probably reflected our admiration, but if we're not careful, our spouse will forget why we were drawn to him. If you still have any of your old love letters, re-read them for clues to deepen your current level of appreciation for your spouse. When we spend time criticizing our husbands, we lose time that could be spent admiring them. As you consider various ways to encourage your husband, ask, "How can I admire him?"

Does your husband know that you think he is attractive? What was one of the characteristics in your husband that first drew you to him? Was it a physical characteristic, or something else? Was it his gentle, compassionate eyes? Kindness or concern for others? An easy-going confidence? A steadiness that comes from trusting in the Lord? Strength of character in a culture that lacks integrity? Do you see at least a glimpse of that characteristic in him today? Whatever it is, tell him!

There are so many things about my husband that attracted me to him (and still do). I could make a list that goes on and on...but I don't have all day to type this and it would get so long no one would ever have time to read it...so I'll just focus on one for now.

Certainly one of them is that he's a true gentleman in a world with very few left. He's so kind, considerate and polite in dealing with other people...and I admire that. I recall one of our early weekend trips away when we had boarded our flight, settled into our seats, buckled up and he'd begun flipping through the 'Sky Mall' catalog from the plane when a young woman in the aisle was struggling to get her bag into the overhead compartment. The man standing behind her looking irritated by her delaying him offered nothing other than a scowl but my hubby quickly put down the catalog, unbuckled his seat belt and got up to help her get the bag stowed away before sitting back down and going back to the catalog. He thought absolutely nothing of that...it was just a natural reaction to him...to me, it was a sign that I'd found one of the few 'real men' left out there in today's world. He does so many of those 'little things' all the time, and I like that he sets that example for my son.

Day 9

For day nine, the challenge says:

"...be swift to hear, slow to speak..." James 1:19b

We are often so busy speaking that we don't take time to listen. We are so quick to offer a comment - negative or positive - that we don't really "hear" our husband's heart. Remember: we have two ears and only one mouth. We need to listen more! As you continue in your 30-day challenge, not speaking negatively and focusing on positive encouragement, hear the Lord's admonition today: "Be swift to hear."

If listening is a real problem for you, play a game with yourself. See if you can listen to your husband for one whole day, only speaking when asked a question. If your husband notices the difference, explain that you are learning to listen more-not only to God, but also to him.

One easy way to express admiration for your husband is to ask a question about something he enjoys, and then listen to his response. If it's an area of personal familiarity, keep asking questions until you learn something you didn't know, then tell him, "Wow, I didn't know that!"

In all honesty, I do have to say that I'm a talker...always have been...I'm a 'people person'. My mother used to say I'd talk to a brick wall if I thought I could get it to talk back...and she was probably right...If I got in trouble at school...it was for talking...always! That being said though, I'm also very good at listening...as a matter of fact, I crave that give and take conversation. My only problem listening to my husband is that he rarely talks!!! I try all the 'open ended question' angles and try to ask questions about him or things he's interested in...but I get concise answers that rarely open up conversation opportunities. As someone trained as a social worker and working in a business that depends on 'building relationships' with customers...I have spent a great deal of time learning the art of opening people up and listening to their answers...but he's just a quiet and introspective kind of guy. Not saying there is anything wrong with that...but it makes this days challenge a little harder to feel like I've been truly successful.

Day 8

Moving into the 2nd week of the Husband Encouragement challenge...and I am finding that much more than a challenge it is a blessing. Often daily life seems to take so much of our time and attention that we stop focusing on the things that are really most important to us...we allow our lives and minds to become so cluttered that it crowds out what we should be giving the most attention. The blessing of this challenge is that participating in it requires you to spend time daily focusing your thoughts, prayers and actions on your husband...which, in turn, actually increases your feelings of love, appreciation and closeness with him.

The reality of life is that there's no such thing as a 'perfect marriage' and often we fail to see the forest for the trees. Negativity invades our thoughts and it becomes far too easy to focus on the ways in which our spouse does not meet our needs rather than appreciate and thank them for the ways in which they do. Despite the wonderful things (all of which are true) that I have said about my husband throughout this blog...I am no exception to that human tendency. Far more times than I would really like to have to admit, I have been guilty of failing to see the forest for the trees. Everytime one spouse does this, it takes something from the relationship that God intended. So I find it a blessing that this challenge keeps me out of that negative mindset and focused on just how fortunate I really am!

Here's what the challenge says for today:

How are you doing with the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge"? In case you've forgotten, here's the challenge:
* You can't say anything negative about your husband ...to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband.
* Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband!

"...but who can find a faithful man?" Prov. 20:6b

Faithfulness is a wonderful but rare quality today, especially in regard to marriage. Do you understand how important this quality is? Your challenge is to continue to root out all negative speaking, and plant seeds of encouragement instead. You may be amazed at what will grow. Contemporary culture often entices men to be unfaithful to their wedding vows and spiritual commitments.

Appreciate your husband's faithfulness - how he is loyal to you. Let him know that you are glad he has "stick-to-it-iveness" in your marriage. Appreciate his faithfulness to God. (If you have an unfaithful husband, this is a difficult area for you. Pray, speak the truth in love, remain faithful yourself, and discover ways to encourage faithfulness in your mate. The Bible says that husbands may "...be won by the conduct of their wives" [1 Pet. 3:1]. You may also want to seek counsel from a mature, godly individual or couple.)

I believe that my hubby is loyal and faithful by nature. He is that way as a husband. He is that way as a friend. He is that way as a son. He believes in keeping his word in every way that he can and I know that I can trust in him. I wasn't always capable of trusting other people, even if they were trustworthy...and it has made a huge difference in my life to have such a person in my life. I really am incredibly blessed to be his wife!!!!

Day 7

Well, one week down on the challenge...and so far so good. I've been positive with my husband (and about my husband to others). I don't know if he's noticed any difference or not...in some ways I hope that he hasn't noticed much of a difference from this week over recent weeks because if he hasn't then that means I wasn't doing too bad with being encouraging before the challenge...but at the same time I'd love to think that I've made him feel even more important and special to me this week. Here's today's text:

"Do not overwork to be rich; because of your own understanding, cease!...for riches certainly make themselves wings..." Prov. 23:4-5 "

That I may cause those who love me to inherit wealth, that I may fill their treasuries." Proverbs 8:21 Money is the root of much marital discord. Ask yourself, "Am I being negative toward my husband in the area of finances?" Determine not to speak evil of your husband in this area. Discover ways to encourage and help him instead.

Does your husband handle finances wisely? Does he make good financial investments, based on biblical principles? Does he have a budget? Does he make wise decisions about purchases - checking many sources before he buys? Is he a good steward of his money before the Lord? Let him know how much you appreciate his strengths in financial matters.

If he is weak in this area, encourage any good decisions that he does make. Perhaps you can help him, if he's open to the idea, by organizing financial files or providing other practical assistance. Or, if he wants you to handle the finances, ask for his input before you make decisions that will affect him.

Today's challenge is particularly convicting for me...because I know that I haven't always been very encouraging of my husband in this area. My husband and I have differing money management styles and far too often in the past I've been critical of his handling of finances. I will say that thankfully, I did not just realize this fact but have been aware of it for a while and have been making an effort to improve my reactions.

We have separate accounts and have a reasonable division of financial responsibilities. That is how we handled finances when we first married for quite a while and then tried to put everything together but it was a frequent source of tension and disagreement regardless of who 'handled' the money. We eventually redivided things again though either of us will help the other if there is a need.

I admit that at first if my husband asked me if I could give him money on my week to get paid and he would give it to me the following week when he got paid that I would ask a lot of questions instead of just trusting in my husband as I should have...I have made a conscious effort to improve in this area and think I've made significant progress. The last several times he's asked I have simply said yes and done as he asked...and he has done as he said so I was certainly right in just trusting in him. We haven't always had things easy financially but we've always had everything we needed and I need to remember to give my husband the proper credit for that and not dwell on the details.

Day 6

Here's the text for day six:

"...whatever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Cor. 10:31b

Do you recognize and appreciate your husband's creativity? Or do you criticize and demean his efforts? Instead of negativity, determine to be positive. Perhaps you can help your husband see that his efforts are an opportunity to glorify God. Is your husband the "creative" type? Does he have any artistic gifts? What is that special "knack" he has? Affirm him for his handiwork - a hobby, music, gardening, tinkering with cars, working with wood, etc. Remember: Even if he doesn't measure up to your standards, praise his efforts.

If your budget allows, buy him a book or magazine that will continue to encourage his special skill or talent. If you have a hard time finding his "creative side," understand that men's creativity sometimes is related to their work. Find something he does to make his job run more smoothly or something he does that adds value to his work...and let him know that you have noticed. Make his day...Praise his accomplishments in public, while he is listening.

I would certainly have to say that my husbands 'knack', as it were, is in dealing with electronic things...computers, gadgets, etc. He works with computers for a living and it's the closest to a 'hobby' he has outside of watching sports (which I'm sure he wishes there was a way to make a live doing...lol). He is very talented in understanding the workings of all things electronic and usually has almost every new 'toy' that comes out. To be quite honest our tv set up is so technological that I'm not certain I could tell you how to turn it on!!! It impresses me that he can figure some of that stuff out. I know my way around a computer pretty well and sometimes even answer his questions when it comes to the use of particular applications but his ability to set things up and get them to work together just amazes me!

I'm really not sure what I could do 'action-wise' for today's challenge...I compliment his ability in this area quite freely already both to him and to others. The suggestion about getting him a book or a magazine wouldn't really be good for him because my hubby really isn't much of a reader...pretty much all of his reading is done on the computer. Maybe if I could find some sites with good information about upcoming technology information or something like that I could share those with him...but I'd be surprised if I was able to find one that he doesn't know about already. Maybe I'll just do some research tonight and share what I do find...even if he doesn't find one new site in the links I send him he'd still know I was thinking about him and what he likes and that I took the time to try to find them.

Day 5

Here's what the challenge says about day 5:

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph. 4:29

Another way to describe the positive side of this "30-Day Encouragement Challenge" is by using the word "edify," which means, "to build up." Negative comments only discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build. Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes?

This is especially important to other family members. Do you praise your husband to his relatives, and yours? Does your husband's mother know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you respect your husband, love him, and support him - in spite of whatever flaws and weaknesses he may have.

As for today, my hubby and his father work for the same company and have offices across the hall from one another. I decided a nice way to send a message of love to husband AND about my husband to my FIL was a surprise visit to bring my hubby a cappuchino. So when it was time for me to run to the office supply store and the bank for my office, I told my boss I was going to take an extra 30 minutes to run a personal errand (given that I haven't taken lunch for the last 3 days in a row because we've been so busy I knew she'd be fine with that). So I stopped at a little coffee shop right between my office and my hubby's (we work really close to each other) and picked up his treat then took it to his office. When I got there I was really glad I did because he was having trouble with some new process they have and was kind of frustrated...so the surprise came at a really good time. I also chatted with my FIL for a little while and asked about my MIL (who hasn't been feeling well)

Day 4

Here's what the challenge says about today:

"...let him labor, working with his hands what is good..." Eph. 4:28

We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative and positive words. Have you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others about him? Here's a suggestion that touches the core of your husband's world. Some women take their husband's career for granted, and they show it in many ways. Do you "dump" on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others.

If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you'll need to be more creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part of a successful career - such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc.

I admire my husbands ability at work. He is able to quickly and easily complete his tasks...so much so that he is able to complete his work with time to spare and thankfully has flexibility in his schedule that allows him to spend that extra time at home. I have to admit that I envy that at times...but it doesn't mean that I'm not thrilled that he is able to do that...it enables him to often do things that my schedule won't allow...he's home when my son gets home from school usually and our dogs never have to stay inside without getting to go outside all day long. It really is a blessing to our family.

As I was thinking about today's topic, I realized that sometimes even though it was never my intent...that through my good natured teasing about his schedule freedom I may have sent the message that I didn't value his work or think that he worked hard. So I've decided to not do that anymore...and try to send more positive messages about his work.

Day 3

Here's what the challenge says for today:

"...love suffers long, and is kind..." 1 Cor. 13:4 "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19

Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider your Encouragement Challenge, determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband. Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement. If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank him for his kindness and consideration. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to be both tough and tender. Sometimes it's difficult for a man to be gentle, kind or tender - especially if he hasn't had role models in these areas.

If he's not a considerate person, appeal to him for help without complaining. Let him know that it's hard for you to handle some things alone. Then, when he moves in to help, don't insist that he do it your way. Be glad that he is responding, and express your gratitude.

Ultimately, you can't expect your husband to make you feel more secure, loved, etc. Remember that only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart.

I am extremely blessed to have a very kind and considerate hubby. As I mentioned yesterday, he does lots of 'little things' for me all the time. One of the things that I think so beautifully demonstrates his attitude of consideration is in going out to eat...I am a vegetarian and he most definitely is not...but whenever we go out to eat he is always concerned with making sure that they have options for me. Here in the south, many restaurants do not cater to veggies like me...but I can almost always find SOMETHING even if it's special ordered or just a salad (and I love salads by the way, so I don't consider myself 'deprived' if that is the only menu option I see) but my husband is very careful to make sure that they offer at least 2 things so that I have a choice on the menu and not just that there is something I can eat.

Also when we travel he always has my wants, likes and needs in mind. Not only will he regularly research menus on the Internet in the area to see what places offer the most choices for me and make reservations at those places ahead of time...but he'll also often look into things that might interest me, more than once he has booked me for a day at the hotel spa...especially if he has plans for that day himself that he thinks I'll find boring (or if he has no plans for that day and is just going to be hanging out in the room...which he knows makes me a little stir crazy after 3 or 4 hours) . Am I a lucky girl or what???

Ok, so to my 'action' in today's challenge...of course like all days, I prayed for him this morning and I thanked God for giving me such a loving hubby...but then I decided that perhaps a good way to thank him for considering me was to repay that kindness and consideration. I rushed through getting ready (yep, it's a ponytail kind of day!) for work so that I'd have a little extra time. I used that extra time to go to the nearby bakery and pick him up a Cinnamon Roll and a Cappuchino then I went back by the apartment and left them in his car with a greeting card in which I'd written a little 'thank you' to him for always being so considerate of me...that way as he rushed out to work he had a little surprise that reminded him that someone loved him and was thinking about him this morning...and who could use that on a Monday morning??

Day Two

It's the second day of the encouragement challenge and here's what it says for today:

"...through love serve one another." Galatians 5:13b

How did you do yesterday with your first day of blessing and encouraging your husband? Was it easy? Was it hard to hold your tongue when you wanted to say something negative? We hope you're off to a good start. (If you blew it, don't give up - start again today!) There are so many practical things you can praise, if you look for them.

Today, find some way that your husband is serving you or your family. Does he help around the house? Take care of the car? Fix things that are broken? If your budget allows, give him a new, small tool with a big bow attached. But make sure he doesn't think it's part of a "Honey Do" list!

Maybe your husband's not a handyman, but does he run errand for you? Let you go first? Take care of you when you are sick? Help you make decisions? Praise him for his willingness to serve others. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great strength.

I must say that my hubby makes this challenge much less 'challenging' than it could be! Yesterday was quite easy to be successful...I did all as planned out in yesterday mornings blog and spent the day just feeling generally lucky that he choose me!

As I read this mornings text, I spent time reflecting and meditating on the ways in which my husband 'serves' me. I decided to write him a note telling him that I appreciated all he did and detailing the many things that I 'notice' him doing for me regularly which make my life easier, simpler or just plain better. I pulled out a notebook and a pen and starting listing some of the 'little things' he does for me. I must shamefully admit that as the list grew and grew with one thought bringing up another I became aware of how many of those things I'd never actually thanked him for and how often I'd just taken them as a matter of fact.

After completing my rough draft I started to consider my presentation. My first thought was that I'd like to give it to him handwritten on some nice stationary. Having no stationary around the house at the moment, I thought of creating some on the computer. I spent some time in Print Shop designing something I thought would be appropriate but then no matter how many times I tried just couldn't seem to get it to print. Giving up on this idea, I decided to run to the nearby drug store and purchase some stationary...but when I got there I found it wasn't open yet and wouldn't open until it was too late for me to have it done before I left for Church. Disappointed, I decided to come back home and send it as an email for him to receive when he gets on the computer this morning and made a mental note to go purchase some stationary today to have around the house for future use.

Day One

So today is the first day of the 30 day Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives that I have so eagerly joined with my sisters in Christ from Crosswalk. I can't say that I'll have time everyday to update but I'm going to try to as often as I possibly can...so here's what the challenge says for today:

"The heart of her husband safely trust her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:11-12

To refresh your memory...here's the 30-Day Encouragement Challenge...for the next 30 days:
*You can't say anything negative about your husband...to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband.
*Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband!

To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for "choosing you" above all other women? He found you attractive as a person, and appreciated you. Though many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that you are glad God led you together, and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner.

One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a "wake up call" that he'll never forget-a big "I love you" and an "I'm so glad I'm your wife!"

I have to admit that reading this first day made me feel pretty good...simply because I already do tell my husband pretty frequently that I appreciate him choosing me. The exact phrase I say to him almost daily is: 'Thanks for picking me'. I also telling him pretty often that I am glad that I'm his wife and that I'm proud to be his wife. Both of which are very true! I am one lucky girl in my opinion!

Despite the fact that I do today's 'assignment' already just naturally...I decided to make sure that I did it with a little extra emphasis this morning. So using one of the many various note cards I've printed up on the computer to use to leave him little love notes from time to time, I made him a handwritten thank you note for choosing me over all the other women in the world. Since I will likely be gone from home when he actually gets up today, I put it on his computer for him to find. I also put a few other 'touches' on the morning. I couldn't sleep so I just started the day early...I (quietly) got the housecleaning done (except for vacuuming which I can't think of a way to do quietly...lol) so he could get up to a clean and fresh smelling home. I went ahead to the grocery store about 3:00 AM and while I was there I picked up some doughnuts (one of the things he likes on Saturday mornings) and I put coffee on the timer to brew about the time he usually wakes up on weekends. So even though I'll probably be at my hair appointment, when he gets up he will have no doubt that he was on my mind this morning!

Something else that I've decided to do while participating in this challenge is to re-read some of the books I have picked up over the years that related to building and growing marriage. All of them I took something away from at the time...but many of which I read years ago, so I've forgotten some of the 'finer points' of their messages. Also, I hope that I've grown in my relationship with Christ since originally reading them and that can only help me to take even more from the message of honoring my husband. The first one I've chosen to read is "Romancing Your Husband" by Debra White Smith...I'm a few chapters into it already this morning and have found it to be inspiring. I can't wait to see just how I can build my husband up through this challenge...I'm truly excited!